I don't know what that means, but luckily I had no issue aside from like....soreness.

Ditto, except the confidence thing. Full spectrum being experienced, I'll take the top 80%.

As an adult, I try to joke about loving giant penises less, because 1/200 being a micropenis is NOT that uncommon. Damn. Poor dudes, I don't hate you!

No way is a too-big penis worse than a micropenis.

I need a subscription to that. Or at least the Halloween Issue. <3 Martha now. When I was a kid and my mom watched her show, I wanted to die of boredom, but now!

I bet Martha didn't even see that blurb before it went to publication, no?

Really?!

My ex was both those things, but not Idris Elba. Sorta self centered and all about money and not about like, enjoying life.

Those instructions are EXACTLY like Louis CK's bit about "The Worlds Saddest Handjob." They are telling you to replicate a horrible hand job.

I'm never going to watch this, but what is the secret you won't spoil?? Now I want to know.

Allen could have gotten up the second it looked gross and gone home. No big deal.

My coworker introduced me to the side-thong, but this is better.

The hair tweet... I haven't seen the show, but sometimes hairstyles are used to show mood, like the female actress will have it up if the scene shows her at home, but in court or at work its different. Is the hair on Scandal more than that? Please explain.

They look great, and Balmain looks great on them.

I would switch Riri and Nicki.

I love toddler language. My daughter is 2.5 and said, "Its FRWAINING! I like dat." And she looks at me after I get dressed and says either, "I LIKE dat" or "No like it" ( Her ability to say 'it' depends on if she likes something or not, apparently. Little fashionista.

DUDE, I just posted something like this. Ill repeat... that plastic water bottle was her audition.

You guys, I had the best joke about Kim K wanting to be on Downton Abbey...That set pic released with the plastic water bottle on the ledge was her audition. Snap! Someone make that work.

I EAT HAMBURGERS WITH A FORK AND KNIFE... wait, no, phew... I cut them into quarters then pick up the quarters... but the fork and knife are used for cutting. I don't know what this does for my status as a human. I have an open bite and can't cut food with the front of my face.

I only know of one James Beard person, I think, and she owns Beast. I'm just going to go with her. I am not going to Google ANYTHING to confirm or deny. Poor lady is just in my head as rude from now on.