Because the genie is being detained in Gitmo. Come on. Somebody with those powers from that region was never going to be allowed back into the real world.

So glad the I logged in.

+1 auto-play video that i want to light on fire oh shit now i’ve scrolled to a different article i guess

+1 slow-loading ad on mobile that makes the nav jump

Do fake heart attacks count as excuses?

“Roger, I think we’re in trouble on this CTE suit. Yeah, even the punters.”

I remember following him around at the BC Open twenty something years ago. The back story is that he was drinking heavily, he’d be suspended from the tour soon after. He was defending champion and it’s an unwritten rule you return to defend your title. But John wasn’t having it, he tried to withdraw. The tour…

Cardinals fans want you to know they’d never do that to one of their own. Then they’d probably talk about how Alou got pretty uppity about the whole thing.

I hope someone checked on Zodiac...

some of us would be elated to get boned at a .263 average, or anywhere near it for that matter

That’s gonna affect the center fielder wherever he may roam.

Enter, sand man.

I was hacked by the Cardinals!

So, so happy this dude won a ring. And took down the super team to do it. Good for him!

Dirk is in the perfect situation. Already won a ring. Can be longest tenured player ever with a franchise. Loves Dallas. Good for him.

That would be awesome if his dad could throw to him in the HR derby. It would remind us of our dads throwing us BP, getting progressively more frustrated as he can’t get one over the plate, getting pissed at us because we didn’t groove the one fucking strike he threw to us, then throwing a a brush-back pitch possibly…

If your only chance of scoring is hitting the catcher so hard he drops the ball it probably isn’t a clean baseball play

OH MAN THIS REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE WHERE WE WERE DOING FIREBALL SHOTS OUT OF PEOPLE’S POO-HOLES (ANUSES) AND SOME WISECRACK THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE LMAO TO SET ONE ON FIRE. WHEN I SAW THAT GAPING MAW OF FIRE, TEQUILA, AND A SMALL DINGLEBERRY I THOUGHT “NO WAY BUT THIS IS COLLEGE AND THERE IS NO…

Found this fan photo of Sicnarf’s round taken from the stands