Essentially pulling out your phone during a comedy show is...releasing it before it’s ready. Comedians, unlike most entertainers have to practice in front of an audience.

“There’s a bad history of being analogized to insects that goes back to a lot of totalitarian regimes in the past,” Stephens said on MSNBC Tuesday.

I don’t think Uber is meant to be a full time gig...

There was one guy who did claim my pics were “better than the Fappening.” I’m not sure how he gets the internet in prison.

“Tough shit...I’m not giving up my Constitutional rights..”

When I post my nudes it’s always to preemptively neutralize the hackers, but nobody appreciates that. Everyone is just like “gross!”

Laura was so preoccupied with whether or not she could, she didn’t stop to think about whether she should.

I mean, it’s a reminder that letting civilians have handguns is a bad idea. Once you decide you are suicidal, taking others with you becomes just a fun bonus option. If you blame your ex, your boss, or society-at-large for your problems there’s really nothing stopping you.

What if he likes Pulp, tho?

most of them time they just want to tell you their favorites and pay no attention to any opinions that they don’t generate themselves.

How is this even possible? What is their justification?

how do you tell?

Aside from Spicer’s shitty record, he’s still fundraising for GOP candidates. Giving him free publicity on ABC means more donations for other politicians.

Your mom’s edgy and disgusting.

Oh, we’ve got good news for you there! It takes like a cross between a cashew and envelope-flap glue.

We switched to Sling TV so we no longer have ABC, so we won’t be subjected to Dancing with the Stars any more, not even in commercials. It’s a good feeling.

I guess my advice to get deeper into Classical music (or any kind of music that you may want to like but have difficulty connecting with) is to make a playlist. Not too long - 20-30 tracks max. Keep going back to it until it clicks, and delete out the stuff you are sure you are never going to like.

Of course that’s a very loose cover of this, possibly the best Fall song.

I am sure the majority of the cops can’t stand the negative press that guys like Pantaleo and Lynch’s defense of him bring to the department as a whole.

It’s kind of amazing that union leaders like Turco and Patrick Lynch can’t dial it back when they obviously need to. Even in highly polarized and dick-headed New York the majority of civilians would probably agree that something went, shall we say, awry with the Eric Garner arrest, and that this is not how our…