I was pretty sure I recognized that guy as a commenter whose opinion I absolutely, positively could not care less about, but I clicked to doublecheck. And the results are pretty funny....

True story: Back in the day our local Vietnamese joint had two televisions above their seating area, constantly playing random stuff on mute. Once, while we were having dinner, whatever Learning Channel program they were showing wrapped up and the next one came on, and it was a special about parasitic worms! The staff…

My personal technique is to put my cutting board on the stove, next to the pot. Lay out one or two whole peeled tomatoes and chop quickly with a knife (they chop so easily that it is fast and very satisfying, all wrist action like dit dit dit.) Then pick up the cutting board with one hand and scoop the tomatoes into…

Counterpoint: New York City cabbies finally relaxed about letting passengers use credit cards (instead of constantly lying and insisting that the box was out of order) when they saw that people paying with cards tipped more. The checkout dialog had the little 15%, 20%, 25% boxes on it and this raised the standard for…

So, why would you want to include an emoji of the big purple McDonalds mascot in this headline? Does the PlayStation Classic deliver poor nutrition at family-friendly prices?

So, why would you want to include an emoji of the big purple McDonalds mascot in this headline? Does the PlayStation…

I actually saw him in a cable tv commercial for a sex toy store last night. It was very weird.

Yeah, pouring a blob of mold onto your freshly-made waffles is pretty disturbing. You only do that once.

Your mom’s not funny.

The first time I tried Cel-Ray (at a Jewish deli, of course) I was pretty drunk, and I was floored by how much it really does taste like celery. I found the idea of celery soda hilarious and just laughed and laughed about it.

OH MY GOD THE PILOT IS FLYING US RIGHT INTO THAT MOUNTAIN, SOMEONE STOP HIM!

I mean, sure. His obsession with immigrants seems kind of racist. And the trade wars don’t really make any sense, and maybe a giant tax cut that will blow up the deficit was short-sighted. Picking on transgendered people is transparently engineered to rile up the base at the expense of a vulnerable population and…

I don’t know about that. When so many members of your team get indicted, that really says something. To me it says maybe this is a man who really thinks outside the box.

You know, two years of relentless liberal mockery of Donald Trump and everything he stands for has actually made me appreciate him a lot more. If you have the entire establishment in an uproar week after week you must be doing something right.

What we really need is a massive Prince revival. Whatever the impediment is to a flood of Prince covers (his estate? his reputation for hating covers?) has to be cleared away - let a thousand Prince covers bloom. You’ve got to face the fact that young people today with their hippityhop and the snapchat don’t know…

an inappropriate relationship

#1 tip for not being judged by the barista

Meh. Not much.

Columbian coffee, whole bean, from my local grocer (Fairway in NYC), ground course in a Capresso Burr Grinder, brewed in a big mason jar with a Kolob Brew Tube inserted:

Columbian coffee, whole bean, from my local grocer (Fairway in NYC), ground course in a Capresso Burr Grinder,…

No, of course not. Happily, I may be of some assistance. I may appear to be a mere pseudonymous commenter on an entertainment website, but in actuality I have had roughly the same amount of public success in the entertainment world as Mr. Davidson has enjoyed to date, and in my professional estimation he’s....just ok.

Look, buddy, there was a time when people didn’t think we needed dozens and dozens of features on Cameron Esposito, but in retrospect all of that coverage has absolutely, positively justified itself.