You said you went to school with “tons” of Kaylas and Kendalls and he is saying “yes, I suppose if you added up all of their weights it would indeed work out to tons.” That’s his little joke and I bet it made him feel all tingly inside to make it.

In 2018 none of those people would voluntarily spend time with any of the others. They’d fucking hate each other. They’d stay in their apartments all day, bitterly typing comments on some internet blog, just like I’m doing right now.

The ice cream glove he was pitching was legitimately hilarious. I think that’s my favorite Ali G detail.

More like the joke WHIZZED right past him amirite.

I don’t see why the Kinsey Scale didn’t come up in response to the first question.  That’s always been an easy way to describe being “lopsided.”

Last night on the street I saw some lunky white guy wearing a t-shirt that said “Hey Snowflake!” at the top. Middle was full of text about “in the real world...” and at the bottom it said “You are not special!”

You just read a story about child sexual abuse and yet this comment (probably based on a real experience) is what triggered you.  Might want to pray on that.

...they blatantly drove away readers and advertisers

They’ve always been pretty cool. Why aren’t you being cool?

Really? It was such a common term in the art-damaged 80s, hard to believe that a rock critic could have made that happen, even Chrustgau. (typed it wrong into my phone but I’m leaving it.). 

I don’t know about that, saying “womp womp” out loud has become a thing in general over the last few years. I don’t know that it’s really particularly common for conservatives to do it.

Womp womp is the sound used in cartoons to indicate that something unfortunate has happened to a character, and that this is funny. Sometimes called the “sad trombone.”

It’s the “double hypocrite” move. I think you are a hypocrite because you don’t seem to believe what I think you are supposed to believe. So I’ll call you out on it even though I don’t actually believe it myself.  Nevermind that I may not really understand what you believe at all.

Yeah, I was thinking it meant “try wearing a tie that is not stereotypically masculine, maybe something in a dark red.”

This shit ain’t covered on the Fox News Channel.

Also probably with their faces on an hour’s worth of security cam footage.

Yeah, I feel like I see this all the time at some good steakhouses in NYC. Nobody cares, there is no dress code.

There was a vigilante in my old ‘hood who would leave notes on windshields telling people to pull up all the way to the corner (and would conclude said notes with a vague threat to damage the car.)  This is theoretically all fine except he would leave them in places where there weren’t really two spaces, just, like,…

Michael Grimm has some time on his hands after losing his primary? Anyway, there is a remote chance that this is a piss-poor attempt at sarcasm or it’s supposed to be impersonating somebody (like, say, the Grimm I mentioned), but really who gives a shit. Flag on the play.

Meh, all of that supermarket sushi is flash frozen, which kills parasites. So you can pretty much ship fish anywhere now. The same is true for sushi in NYC.