Have you ganked your fiends today?

“There must be something you can do, somewhere you can run.”

“It’s no good, honey. It’s the Skywalkers. They have plot armor. I’m doomed whichever way you look at it. I’m just a minor character. Whether I join them as a sidekick, or fight them as an enemy, there’s no way I can survive. Best I can do is try to face my…

So Han’s from a royal family too, is he?

“The Rebel Alliance ... fighting for democracy, even though everybody who actually matters in it is either royalty or a Chosen One. Or both.”

Then there’s the whole ‘two degrees of separation’ thing, where every single possible character in the galaxy is somehow closely…

Or a map of the stars, assuming people still have celestial navigation skills?

The ancient Polynesian navigators used to make maps of winds and currents from scraps of wood, fishbone and feathers. Maybe it’s a wind/current map?

I always assumed that “Waterworld” was the result of someone going “What if we made ‘Mad Max’ ... but instead of setting it in a desert where there’s no water, we make it a desert where there’s only water?”

All that work, and some teenage hoodlum just comes along and blows the whole damn thing up. No wonder Palpatine fried the little shit with Force lightning, the first opportunity he got. He must have been so pissed.

“I could take you to this place I know in Mos Eisley. Oh, sure, it’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy, but they take their cuisine very seriously. They do this sweet-and-sour porg that’s to die for. Or if that doesn’t do it for you, steamed porg buns. Porg stir fry. You ever tried wookiee? Yeah, I know they’re…

Am I the only one who thinks that having a super-space-battleship that can be disabled by some guy flying a tiny space fighter (of any kind) through its bridge windows is kind of a bad design?

Sheesh, they’ll be leaving their thermal exhaust ports open next ...

If she’s his daughter, that would make the sex scene somewhere beyond ‘awkward’.

There’ve been some fairly terrifying recent videos from inside planes involved in accidents, showing people busily trying to take their carry-on bags out of the overhead bins. The plane’s lying on its belly on the runway, smoke curling from the shattered engines, and they’re standing in the aisles, trying to get their…

I think the best advice for surviving a plane crash is “be somewhere else when it happens”.

We’ve reached the point where the words “Ridley Scott’s plans for the next ‘Alien’ movie” are more terrifying than anything in the movie.

And human-shaped eyes, instead of fox-shaped eyes. Shudder.

The same difference that exists between a fascist and a fascist who says he’s being ‘ironically’ fascist.

One of Ryan Johnson’s three assigned spin-off movies better be “Revenge of the Wampa”, in which an angry one-armed wampa comes looking for Luke, or I’m giving up on the whole franchise.

Shouldn’t they, maybe, talk to the Nazis? Hear their point of view? Try to find some common ground? Before they start, you know, just punching them?

I’m sure there are good people on both sides.

Yeah, tinkering with a massively-complex, enormously-interconnected system of which you have only the most minimal understanding? I can’t imagine how that could possibly backfire on you.

When you eBay the game of thrones, you win the auction or you die.

But the correlation between smoking pot and eating everything in the fridge still holds up, right?

I was hoping for “Always Shoot First”.