I recently discovered that there was a real Dread Pirate Roberts: John “Bartholomew” Roberts, aka Black Bart. If you want to know more about the real-life inspiration for the DPR, I recommend the book “If a Pirate I Must Be” by Richard Sanders.

Thank you for the correction. My apologies for the error, but the Star Wars lore is not strong in this one.

I felt the same way about the reboot of “Total Recall”. Passably pretty to look at, but completely unengaging. Is this Hollywood’s new business model? “Let’s remake a movie, but this time we’ll make it really dull.”

Wookieepedia tells me that Boba was a clone of his dad Jango, who served as the model for the clone troopers that the Geonosians cooked up for the Republic. What could be more plausible than that the Geonosians kept the plans on file, so to speak, and then ran off a few thousand more copies on the sly? All of whom…

I’m now picturing a clown shoe falling off the roof of a tiny car containing not less than six other clowns.

If Pennywise and Ronald McDonald are the same, does that mean that Ronald McDonald’s perpetual antagonist the Hamburglar is actually a secret hero, tirelessly fighting against the menace that is Pennywise/McDonald? What if the Hamburglar is one of the Losers’ Club, grown up and forced to turn to a life of…

“Hey, J.J.’s back on the project. I think we’ve got some lens flares left over from the last film, but I’m ordering another dozen boxes just in case.”

Contact lenses? Amateur. Christian Bale would have had himself blinded.

ITV delenda est.

Pickup trucks in Westeros have sword racks instead of gun racks.

And a sticker of Tyrion pissing off the Wall on the rear window.

“You’ll never take me alive, copper!” the tortoise shouted. “Eat my dust!”

“What would you do if a coworker showed up with a gun and started shooting people?”

a. “I don’t know. Is that something that happens a lot around here?”
b. “Write a strongly-worded email to Human Resources.”
c. “Scream piercingly and die at my desk in a pool of blood.”
d. “Offer to show them the way to the CEO’s office.”
e.…

Unless you enjoy massive blood loss, definitely do not try this with a cat.

I remember hitting some fairly bad turbulence while returning home after a business trip. As the aircraft started to bounce up and down and my grip tightened on the arm rests, my colleague looked up, said “And now, we dance,” and went back to her book.

Now whenever I encounter turbulence, I just think “And now, we…

“Contractually Obligated Mustache” is the name of my new band.

That was my first thought. Although when I refreshed my memories of “Tales of the Gold Monkey” at Wikipedia, I discovered that it was the dog that wore the eyepatch in that one.

Well, this is cute.

1. Repeal Obamacare, but time it so that it doesn’t kick in until after the 2018 mid-terms. Strategic.
2. Come up with a replacement some time after that, on a schedule to be decided.

Given that despite having seven years to think about it, they couldn’t come up with an alternative to Obamacare that…

If his movies are anything to go by, I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen the last of him.

After watching that clip, I think the best plan might be to hide somewhere and wait for them to die of old age. Does that sound like a good plan to anyone else? I mean, sure, you could try to kill them ... but what if you just made them angry?

Tomatodome — two caterpillars enter, one caterpillar leaves.