Air travel is one of Nature’s ways of reminding you that people are selfish imbeciles. If you doubt this, the proof is not people standing in the aisles when the plane is about to take off; it’s the people getting their carry-on out of the overhead lockers when the plane has just crashed.

You’re talking about an initial fall of (potentially) anything from 30-150ft into the water, depending on the size of the ship and which deck you fall from. In extreme cases, the fall itself could be fatal; in most cases, the impact might very likely stun or injure you, affecting your ability to keep yourself afloat.…

“A dog comes when called. A cat will take a message and get back to you.” — Mary Bly

“[They] recommend daily vacuuming, and on top of that, they suggest you use a steam cleaner.”

Instructions unclear. Tried to steam-clean my cat, now bleeding from multiple lacerations. Send help.

If I understand correctly, this depends on the attacker embedding the content-to-be-encrypted within an embedded image URL in the malicious email. Your encryption-savvy client will automatically decode the encrypted blob, turning the URL into something like…

As a very occasional novice skier, I would like to comment that all chairlifts are possessed by Satan, but it’s not often that you see it displayed quite as obviously as that.

There’ve been some fairly terrifying recent videos from inside planes involved in accidents, showing people busily trying to take their carry-on bags out of the overhead bins. The plane’s lying on its belly on the runway, smoke curling from the shattered engines, and they’re standing in the aisles, trying to get their…

I think the best advice for surviving a plane crash is “be somewhere else when it happens”.

I’m now picturing a clown shoe falling off the roof of a tiny car containing not less than six other clowns.

ITV delenda est.

“What would you do if a coworker showed up with a gun and started shooting people?”

a. “I don’t know. Is that something that happens a lot around here?”
b. “Write a strongly-worded email to Human Resources.”
c. “Scream piercingly and die at my desk in a pool of blood.”
d. “Offer to show them the way to the CEO’s office.”
e.…

Unless you enjoy massive blood loss, definitely do not try this with a cat.

I remember hitting some fairly bad turbulence while returning home after a business trip. As the aircraft started to bounce up and down and my grip tightened on the arm rests, my colleague looked up, said “And now, we dance,” and went back to her book.

Now whenever I encounter turbulence, I just think “And now, we…

Well, this is cute.

1. Repeal Obamacare, but time it so that it doesn’t kick in until after the 2018 mid-terms. Strategic.
2. Come up with a replacement some time after that, on a schedule to be decided.

Given that despite having seven years to think about it, they couldn’t come up with an alternative to Obamacare that…

This is great stuff. I’ve printed out the 6-point checklist so I can refer to it next time I feel myself falling. Thanks.

At what point in the process should you exchange business cards?

It’s not us they’re trying to sell it to: it’s the holdouts in Congress who prevented the last attempt from passing. Some of the key objectors were from the Freedom Caucus, who didn’t like the first bill because it didn’t scratch all their favorite itches. The goal is to win the Freedom Caucus votes by making the bill…

Now I want to read the follow-up article, “What To Do If You’re Attacked By A Navy SEAL, According To A Shark.”

“Forget it, Jake. It’s Florida.”

Top tip for surviving a plane crash: be somewhere else when it happens.