Vampire princess allergic to werewolf fur.

Six word stories puzzle apocalypse survivors.

Greenhouse effect produces prize-winning tomatoes.

Von Neumann machine replicates Von Neumann

Humans intelligent, claims controversial dolphin scientist.

Trumpatron: divisive robot candidate polarizes nation

Manned Mars mission discovers stowaway aboard

The DoE doesn’t address the questions I really want answered, namely: are monsters a renewable energy source? Do they contribute to global warming or not?

Because while obviously no one is in favor of scary horror-things that drag children and teenagers off into some dark netherworld, I do think we need to look…

Hipster Humanity: Yeah, we were into intelligent life before it was cool. In fact, before the universe itself was cool.

As a know-it-all British person, I feel bad that I haven’t been barging into normal people’s lives and dragging them into adventures. It’s clearly time to remedy that. Does anyone have a corgi they can lend me?

“HarperCollins, how can I ... oh, good morning, Mr Tolkien. Yes, we’ve been expecting your call. I’ll put you through right away. (beep, buzz) Boss? I’ve got Chris Tolkien on line 2 for you. Connecting you now.”

When I saw the top image, my first impression was that she was ‘tying off’ before injecting heroin. And I thought “Yes, well, that’s certainly a different origin story.”

On the bright side, maybe the kid will grow up with a life-long distrust of robots. Which will come in handy when we need someone to lead the Resistance and send his best friend back in time to knock up protect his mom.

Didn’t protect them from the tropical fish we used to feed them to in industrial quantities when I was a kid.

We should have little tattoos on our heads that say “Warning: contains no user-serviceable parts.”

A Pokemon gym in a graveyard sounds like something Stephen King would come up with.

I think I’d pay not to. “Chappie” left me scarred for life.

“Winter is —”
“Shut up, Ned. I don’t want to hear it, OK?”

Archbishop Tutu vs. Aliens? “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!”

No, it will do so by starring Ninja and Yolandi Visser from Die Antwoord as angry, angsty alien hunters.