Well, he did just get out of rehab, so that’s probably why he didn’t do that.

Well, Ben Carson is a doctor, and I don’t think he sciences anymore...

DTD has been an infamous frat since my dad was a member in the 60s. They were nicknamed the DownTown Drunks and had a reputation for getting shut down for bad behavior. When I went to IU for grad school a few years ago, they were seen as mostly douchey guys. The only part of this story that surprises me is that he got…

My dad never let my older sister wear black, because it’s what bikers and hoodlums wore. Just...what? By the time I was around and, of course, goth, my sister was furious about his relaxed standards.

Swing by my parents’ house in Florida. They have one that lives in their backyard pond!

My parents live in Florida, and there’s a gator that lives in the pond behind their house. I dubbed him The Dogcatcher.

This. Yes. About basically everything.

He played a different type (somewhat) in the Mark Ruffalo HBO movie that came out last year. He was really great in that.

They did not, however, change my life.

The way I read it, it says “Not a bear attack: Life-saving drug.” Like, someone confused a life-saving drug with a bear attack.

...it’s a lake. It’s a big lake! But still a lake. The waves are only really nasty during storms, and you’re not allowed to be on the beach then, anyway.

I watched Major Payne and In the Army Now whenever they were on tv. Same for Srgt Bilko, Private Benjamin, GI Jane, A Few Good Men, and An Officer and a Gentleman. I’ll take my purple heart with a side of Congressional Medal of Honor, please.

That is a glorious image, but she was younger than me, black, trans, and super thin, with beautiful curly hair (I have big curly hair, too, so I’m partial). She wearing a skintight leather skirt and tube top to a daytime wedding, though, so we can TOTALLY clock her for that shit.

HAAAAA! “Stay confident, girl!”

It was so bizarre, because it was a total stranger! Like, who does that? Just mean.

Ah, I should’ve known. I didn’t think it was saucy enough for a read, since her tone was so light and airy. If we’re going to go with Steel Magnolias characters (a movie I want to love, but hate Julia Roberts too much to get through), she was more Dolly Parton about it and less Olympia Dukakis. :)

I told her thank you and said I loved her big hair, but I was still really mad.

I will never forgive Sarah Palin for bringing the term “gotcha question” into the lexicon. I almost vomited when I heard my parents use it.

Kara, I was at a wedding down south (where shade rules supreme), and a woman said what I read as incredibly shady, but I’d like a ruling from the judge.