Umm...I think by definition 11-5 is much better than 0-6.

I feel like saying you have a Jewish lawyer may be even older than saying you have black friends to prove your non-bigotry.

"distraction" is the preferred nomenclature.

Keep shifting those goal posts buddy!

I think he is literally going to make the exact same argument he did on the show and not even realize it.

Breaking news...white, male comedian makes joke about how his girlfriend talks too much and also marriage sucks.

Awww, there you are. We were all afraid you'd gone off to spread your unique brand of stupidity elsewhere.

"treating you like shit" does not make "punching her in the face" close to an appropriate response. Even if she yelled out the window that your dick is tiny and you can only get it up while looking at naked pictures of Uncle Fester..that STILL doesn't make it anything close to appropariate to punch her in the face.

Talk about missing the point.

this is absolutely (and obviously) NOT about pointing out Mariah's "flaws", in fact, nobody has referred to these so-called "flaws" but you. If anyone's being a dick about anyone's body, it'd be you. This is about how TOTALLY ABSURD it is to photoshop images this much.

Bowling is a college sport?

There's a college world series?

Absolutely. I'm an athlete who spends time on both Jez and DS. Whenever this "haha watch out fer Jezebel" phrase pops up, I'm a bit stumped. I guess I'm only allowed to like one, silly me with my vagina.

I think there's a special kinja keystroke combo for "ha ha don't post that on Jezebel" that some people just hit reflexively.

I don't know. As a woman in my 50's I think her emphatic insistence that she is still a sexual being can be viewed as kind of revolutionary.

I've got no idea if Madonna's had anything done to her breasts. But your breasts are your breasts. They're not a blueprint for what Madonna's breasts look like, right? I am also almost her age, have never had children, and mine are just where I left them at about 25. Aging isn't a one-size fits all experience.

OK, I AM NOT BODY SNARKING.

If voting in favor of equal pay, complete and unrestricted access to reproductive health care, and stronger punishment and longer statutes of limitations for crimes against women doesn't make me an ally, well then shit.

Sixties' James Bond was a weakling compared to Daniel Craig's muscle-bound version of the spy.

Finally! I've always wondered about Dane Cook's origin story.