I have kids. But I don’t think they’re special snowflakes. I’ve taught them they’re not the center of the fucking universe. They’re polite, they open doors. I never took them to super expensive places when it was nap time, or cranky time. I never stayed in the restaurant if they were assholes. I’ve ALWAYS gotten…

JAYZUS that’s hilarious. FFS, you’re wearing fancy clothes and shoes, idiots. Stop being attention whores.

Isn’t that the bride and groom? She’s carrying white flowers and he has a white tie?

I’d love to wear it ironically.

I like the guy saying OH SHIT hen apologizing - dude, it’s a fucking shark. OH SHIT is very, very appropriate.

But hey, let’s all say how awesome, yay, a video, keep on filming bad judgement, America!

Actually, she says they weren’t even 30 yards. So she doesnt say how far.

His name is Josiah, very Quiverful.

My kids llooked like they weren’t newborns and were 8lbs 13oz and 8lbs 12oz. 10lbs biiiiiiiiiiig.

There’s a gas station at one point. The newborn’s head was against the dash, she had no seatbelt. Very, very fucking dangerous. Pull the fuck over and at least wrap the kid and get it in a car seat

Trust me, when the time comes for pushing, it gets a hell of a lot less scary. You’re too busy and determined.

Sploosh.

I’m with you, Minions forever, down with Frozen!

We used to serve dinner during speeches at the banquet place I worked. And had a signal for the couple to give in case we needed the dj to cut things off. Lol.

Truth. Had to stop watching because it was getting cruel.

I mean, she throws shit at the kids all the time. Get your fucking kid away from the she demon. I, too, watched guiltily way back, but I started feeling bad about the kids and their self esteem.

LMFAO! This just cheered me up because my 20th reunion invitation came out (gettin’ fuckin’ old, yo) and they want me to pay $100 per person for a taco bar ad a shitty Mexican restaurant in a town 20 miles from our high school. Da fuq? So, now I want tacos but I refuse to pay that much for tacos, dammit.

My mom went to a wedding last week where there were TWO HOURS of speeches, and they wouldn’t serve dinner until AFTER. So they didn’t even start dinner until 10pm. On a Friday night. Uh, rude??

That makes me kinda sad. Since you generally only get it when something big is happening medically.

Sadly, I did not get the turtle bit on camera, as my poopy pants husband made me stop right before it. The kid also wouldn’t put his arm down, swore it was floating lol.