It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

i would hope that all the girls softball teams were unseeded

It’s true, the Leafs won a whole bunch of championships when there were negative-two teams in the league.

I keep forgetting the NHL didn’t even have teams for the first 50 years of its existence, gradually expanding to three in the Post-WWII years.

I pity whoever wakes up next to James Harden, because there is not an inch of that bed that he didn’t shit all over.

Yes, but that second one is actually also Betsy DeVos.

I’d like to agree with you that she got what she deserves, but she appears to have made it out of the building as a billionaire with the power to ruin a generation of schoolchildren.

Hmmm....something tells me Raptors don’t survive a scorched Earth approach.

Listen, I really don’t want to see Pittsburgh win another cup, but are we going to allow our nation’s capital to become a continued source of Russian happiness?

Guys like Dellavedova and Olynyk are my least favorite kinds of players. Their skill is basically “who knows, I might just injure you!” While Matt Barnes and his ilk will properly goon you, Delly and Olynyk will “accidentally” shred your knee and get plaudits for their “grittiness.”

Burma Superstar.

first espn

As a fake internet attorney, let me preemptively address the knotty legal arguments from those who would ask “What about his right to free speech?”: Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot

Sad how soft modern hockey players have become.

One of the problems ESPN’s Darren Rovell points out

I’m waiting for Game 7 to get moved to 8:30 am on a Sunday, and maybe to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean where all of the other Pilotless Garbage Barges of the Damned reside.

Maybe they could make up at a bar and Patrick can offer to buy Russell and his crew a round. Not a second round, though.

Yeah, JEEB!

I want to get inside Ellie from Brooklyn’s head. She’s got some hot existential takes - “the basis of our lives is our beliefs” and “People don’t live their lives on an ideological wavelength” - and decides, on September 12th, to call into Mike and the Mad Dog to share them.