Hey Aubrey, if the earth is only 6,000 years old, then how do you explain the existence of Jamie Moyer?

This is what I do at parties.

That’s great that they are using their positions to speak out against the wrongs of the world. I watched one of the pageants last month (?) where a contestant used her time to speak out against Trump’s “both sides” comments.

Is this where I can show off my daughter who did a mashup this year of her two favorite things: Draco and Corn. Comin at ya: DraCorn Malfoy.

I’m mostly offended at the idea of drinking beer out of a straw.

“if e did a atste test you would pass ti”

Damn near cried tonight. I know they still need to lock down 2 more wins, but this was the biggest hit of my Dodgers fandom (I was 2 in 1988). To finally have a playoff highlight in at least the LCS that I can cling to and remember, that sure felt good after annual heartbreak or 0-2/1-1 deficits (1-1 is a deficit in…

Can’t spell Maraghy without Magary.

He looks more like a Kyle to me.

I knew a guy that would always grunt,

Wow, if only the story said that!

It’s all about adding the Beltre tapdance to his arsenal.

Sliding into the DMs like

Dora, I just have to say that your work, along with Giri’s on tennis, is one of the things that makes Deadpan great in 2017. Yeah, we all love to have our chuckles at the silly crap that is major team sports, but you guys cover your beats with both an evident subject knowledge and the ability to convey that…

OK. I now associate you with disseminating the Erin Andrews peephole video or suggesting in a deposition that the cutoff age for posting a sex tape is 4 years old. Hope that’s cool and a reasonable understanding of the material here at Dead Spin dot com.