“Reek eyed the hot dog. It was topped with yellow mustard, chopped white onions, bright green sweetpickle relish, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices or wedges, pickled sport peppers and a dash of celery salt. But not, thank the Many-Faced God, with ketchup. That obscenity would be too much to bear.”

“My name spelled backwards is okenrub, because okenrub mah penis after I write these things.”

“Sure beats sleeping with two fives.”

“me so thelioma”

Not sure what you’re referring to. Mostly just seeing this startling similarity for the first time.

This disgraceful show by all involved is an embarrassment to the quiet dignity and grace with which boxing has always carried itself. Don King must be spinning in his grave.

Here’s one more.

During that awesome Home Run Derby, and the new era of dingerball, I kept thinking to myself, “You know what would make this more fun? Math!”

“It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”

The sheer randomness of their inception, though, means it would be totally fine if we one day decided to change them, too.

They’re making a joke about criticism of Puig for vaguely defined character or behavioral faults and the conservatism of baseball’s conventional wisdom.

whatever. She still won the popular slope.

HE LITERALLY GHOSTED HER!

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

I was looking into this once upon a time, and Congress Street Grounds in Boston, where Lowe had his 4HR game, was apparently radically reconfigured for just that season.

When McEnroe first heard the news that Navratilova had announced she was gay, he was heard to yell, “OF COURSE SHE’S OUT! USE YOUR FUCKING EYES, ARE YOU BLIND? HOW COULD YOU SAY SHE WASN’T OUT WHEN SHE WAS CLEARLY OUT?!?!”

There’s never been a supermodel lingerie party at my house. I own a PT Cruiser. Draw your own conclusions.

Fat jokes about Whitlock almost seem counter-productive at this point because there are so many truly awful things about him.

I’m gonna say the slightly obvious here, but Greg Howard did Deadspin and the world a great service by exposing this goddamn malicious phony for what he is.

Measured, reasoned and informative. All the things Whitlock is not.