You’re a fucking bum who’s been given the world. Shut up, and just stay under my father.

Beans are Godless.

I have mild food allergies, nothing that can’t be solved with some benadryl and an inhaler. My doctor recommended I get an EpiPen just in case it gets worse some day. So he wrote me a prescription, I took it to the pharmacy, pharmacist said it would be $660. And that was with insurance. He and I both kind of laughed.…

Once got to watch the Dodgers and Cardinals combine for 8 home runs in a game. Rickey Henderson hit his 81st and final lead-off home run for the Dodgers. It was awesome.

*remembers rules*

The guy who posted said that they driven it in 3rd for most of the truck’s life. Used mainly to tow equipment.

The most important part of a kayfabe is to keep the meat and vegetables separate. They do not cook at the same temperatures, so one or the other will always be over or under cooked.

A self-aware dumb redneck. Capture him and use him for science.

“Double dip? What are you talking about? Look, I’ll dip the way I want to dip, and you’ll dip the way you want to dip.”

Oh wow, that was a very, very bad magic trick.

Do any of the books involve a Vicar?

Unbelievable that any parent would allow their child to attend Baylor still. Absolutely zero support or protection if you are a woman on campus.

There’s a Scot House on LinkedIn that just moved from San Francisco to Idaho. Wonder why a guy like that would want to move to Idaho? 

I love when my employer decides to pay me with shit I don’t want, instead of money.

A ticket for all 6 days at the event is $100 plus tax. No work required.

“Rasenbagger! Warm-up, you’re going in”

Took my mother and mother in law to the Silos. They loved it. Everything was super expensive and made in China though. But I love me some Joanna.

My wife is PUMPED to see this movie. Went to buy her tickets for the screening but they were already sold out. Bummer. Hopefully they do some more special screenings. Seems like a cool idea.

Fair enough. Is making sweeping generalizations based on one experience not usually accurate?

Counterpoint: Automated promotions are a great idea. Please see above tweets.