Word of caution to all of you new parents out there: it's exhausting having a newborn in the house, and you have zero privacy piled onto your sleep deprivation.

Scoreboard operator was just preparing for his eventual loss on the road in the playoffs/in the Superbowl where its noisy all the time.

FWIW, he says he tried 911 twice and couldn't immediately get a dispatcher.

"Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by inconsistent suspensions. Who's gonna do it? You? You, DeMaurice Smith? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Janay Palmer and you curse the Ravens. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not…

When a movie is three hours long, I'm not the extra 20 minutes makes much of a difference, especially if it's a good movie. As Roger Ebert once said, "No good movie is too long, no bad movie can be short enough."

Make the calls....fine. But remove the automatic first downs with these 5 yard penalties. Refs are controlling the game too much. 3rd and 27? Throw long and hope for a holding call to extend the drive.

Paul Rudd's mom seems like a pretty cool woman. She actually sounds a lot like my mom, only I don't think Paul Rudd's mom fucked any of my high school friends.

A poem for my new coach @PeteCarrol

Because you clicked on it.

C'mon Shelly. There's gotta be a safer place than your shirt pocket to keep that check Snyder wrote for you.

"The wall is 24 feet high"

My mother raised 6 Sun Devils. We all watched this game together, a very special moment. Mom had a terrible stroke 3 years ago. Now, the only thing that makes her smile is watching the games. Thank you ASU for making mom happy tonight.

University of Surprised Children

Yeah! YUENGLING ROOLZ BUCKO

I was expecting to see three or four tweets... but then it just... kept... GOING.

He let's them have a knife?!

"Yup...these are my overlords."

Looks like weed to me.

No one was more disappointed in this news than Mike Yamakita: