Well, I think pretty clearly one of the players on your hockey team made a terrible deal down at the crossroads.

Yeah, well, your President is still Donald Trump.

And the 2017 “I Can’t Believe I’m Fucking Doing This, I Was In Harry Potter, Who Are These Imbeciles. I Need To Fire My Agent” award goes to Emma Watson for “The Circle”.

Come on, how am I going to get racked during the smackdown on Jim Rome if I don’t write it down first?

-There are people who really think 73 isn’t the number? That’s moronic. Did he hit 73 home runs in a full season? Yes. Did he do it with steroids help? Yes, but so the fuck what? Everyone (including the pitchers!) used steroids. Unless opposing pitchers were being paid under the table to inflate his HR numbers, the 73…

He looks like someone who would know quite a bit about “propane and propane accessories” so I wasn’t worried.

obligatory

You’re implying that all sins are morally equal to owning slaves. Is that what you mean to be implying? Because that’s what you’re implying.

The problem that I had with the episode is that I still think GoT does the non fantasy stuff so much better than Wight Walkers and dragons. What are the best action scenes? The Battle of Blackwater. The Red Wedding. The Battle of the Bastards. The Mountain and the Viper. Those types of fights where you know the stakes…

Against all odds and sense, it’s actually a very fun hour or so of silly-ass television. I enjoyed the hell out of it, while also knowing that it was really extremely ridiculous.

2002 just called, wondering what you were doing the past 15 years besides ignoring the results of its World Cup.

Digits?

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

Me: Look how awesome this picture is!
Co-worker: It looks like a used panty shield.
Me: I hate every inch of you.

This guy gets it.

But she didn’t enter lawfully. She has to yield right-of-way to cars that are already in the intersection.

This whole thing would have been cleared up a helluva lot quicker if Venus had just used a challenge.

Nah, it's bad. You're stupid.