The fact that Mike Pence “won” the debate by lying his ass off about (or just flat out ignoring) all the crazy and deplorable shit Trump has said over the last year and a half, how poor of a businessman he is, and how stupid his proposed policies are, speaks to the sorry state of this presidential race very well.

He sure is.

You’ll notice that the thing uniting all the players listed above is that they are talented and entertaining players

Never. The controversy around it would eclipse the actual importance of that game forever, making the game legendary. It’d be one of those stories that grandparents tell their bored grandkids.

The fact that he’s not Ryan Tannehill.

We are Diaz Brothers stans, but we’ll note a good burn when we see one.

A lot has changed since your coma. We’ve had a black president for almost 8 years now.

Imagine knowing that there were children being enslaved out there and being like, “You know what, I shouldn’t talk about this to all these reporters, it might distract them from their rightful focus on Matt Hasselbeck.”

Mark Sanchez: That’s bullshit! Coach said he cut me because he didn’t want to see me poise in his offense.

I can't get the video to work, and I don't know these guys by their names. Will someone tell me what color they are so I can form my opinion?

I’m crying on the toilet, and I didn’t even have Chipotle yesterday.

Not the idiot we want, but the idiot we deserve.

What the horse said to Christopher Reeve?

Alex: That's correct. You win!

but his character made him that six-tool guy

In case you hadn’t noticed (or haven’t been around long enough), Kinja has been a staggering clusterfuck of unusability since its very first iteration 5+ (?) years ago.

He was just trying to incubate a Charmander.

Bosa’s mom is publicly wishing that her son had “pulled an Eli Manning”

A priest, a rabbi, and a weight lifter walk into a bar. The weight lifter —

“I got the joke, but I hate jokes so I’m going to ruin this one”