and not giving away my labor, even if it’s just 30 seconds of it, for free.

Also, stop trying to get me to do work for free by checking out my own groceries.

I went to Alamo Drafthouse once (for the first time) last year and I honestly didn’t get the hype.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been but I don’t think so. Think instead of a bar that runs the entire length of the isle.

They are disabled and no longer can self-deprecate by themselves, so someone has to do it for them. Duh.

Won’t anybody think about the margin?

Yeah, you could make your own noodles, but that’s a lot of work for what isn’t going to be any kind of difference. When you can get a pound of Barilla pasta for $1.50, making your own noodles is just about as sensible as paying an astronomical price. And let’s be honest, do you really think you are gonna do better…

Won’t anybody think about the j-o-b-s?

I hear tell that if you help the staff get free cable, they will let you fight in the arena for a few rounds.

I asked if I could sit with her so she wouldn’t be a 17 year old girl sitting alone outside a restaurant in the middle of a city, but was told no. God our teachers were lousy.

Won’t anybody think about the bottom line?

I never really paid attention to the price of eggs until everybody started freaking out, and I have no clue now what is expensive and what is acceptable.

They’re whole wheat, since my lady can’t eat white flour, the recipe was easy aside from the “oh my god how is anything this sticky?!” part.

I assume the exact search phrase is “How to tell the Karen who made cranberry jalapeno dip to fuck off in a polite Oklahoma manner?”

I feel like if Man Bites Dog is on here, Funny Games probably should be as well. Two movies I regret ever watching.

All of this sounds more like “Buy stuff, get some stuff for free” rather than “If someone kicks a homerun, free tacos for everyone!”

make money off celebrity obsessed suckers

Everyone with air fryers are just fooling themselves. It’s just a convection oven.

In my hometown, there was this local pizza joint called Mario’s. And crazily enough, the guy who owned the place and cooked the pizzas looked like Mario before Mario was a Nintendo character, and his name really was Mario. Or was it? He was easily one of the best pizza places in town but one day his doors closed for…

Do you ever eat any of them?