Do the toppings contain potassium benzoate?

My guess is that the plutocratic party is also the religious fanatic/proud racist party, and Schultz doesn’t present a public image as a religious fanatic or proud racist. Yet, anyway.

Funny, as a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball.

A Star is Born and Get Him to the Greek are like 90% the same movie, and I say this as someone who enjoyed both.

That was one of Mulaney’s bits, part about Trump starts around the minute mark.

“Nobody should ever be murdered for their political opinion, but the second clause of this sentence is unnecessary.”

They’re also Dick Spencer’s favorite team. I know “Team That Loves Trump Loved by Nazi Douchebag” isn’t the most shocking development in the world, but still merits mentioning.

I agree with you in principle but as someone who was once a dinosaur-obsessive child, “Raptors” rules and I won’t hear a single bad word spoken about that name selection.

I kind of... explicitly acknowledge that, though?

Just be glad that’s all the kid expects Dracula to do, I guess?

I basically agree with this, but there are plenty of countries around the world where those coalitions are made between smaller parties rather than within two big ones and it functions fine. The reason we have two parties is the way our electoral system works. It’s Duverger’s law. First-past-the-post elections and…

Nixon died a free man when, by all rights, he should’ve either spent his last years imprisoned or been torn limb from limb as he was attempting to board that helicopter. That strategy didn’t ultimately keep the criminal bastard in power but it wasn’t a complete failure for him. He got off extremely lightly for what…

Not a meme, exactly, but try this:

Nothing more alpha than being afraid of a bean you fear will undermine your masculinity

I’m extremely here for your Friends hate.

The gas station cappuccino is perfection, though. In my perfect world, all coffee is either black or gas station cappuccinos and there are no other options because those are the only two varieties anyone needs.

Fuck off, fascist scum.

Or El Duderino, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.

The time distortion effect is all too real. This little thing Roth wrote at Deadspin captures the spirit of living in the Trump era more thoroughly than anything else I’ve ever read. Even if you don’t give a damn about football, it’s well worth a read.

He injured himself slipping on a mat at the Bills’ training camp (giving way to the EJ Manuel era), and then got popped for boating while intoxicated shortly after.