Thanks. And I agree. If you’re coercing someone, there is no consent. This really is not a difficult concept to understand but for some reason, it’s being treated like this is theoretical quantum physics or something.

Here’s the problem:

I see the resident rape apologist is out and already starred. Fantastic. Here’s why I don’t buy that men “don’t understand what’s going on with women”: because it’s bullshit. There have been multiple studies that have proven over and over again that men do understand body language and non-verbal cues, they just choose…

When we prepare a stew out of the flesh and bones of poor people, we should do so with polite language and good table manners. The President’s language is quite coarse, and it demeans the office of Poor-Person-Stew chef.

This isn’t even the sex wars I feel though. You can be totally sex positive and have a problem with the behavior described here.

This was not a case where she was threatened or intimidated. It was an evening where she felt uncomfortable with the sexual activity she was actively participating in, and did not stand up for herself and say no to that activity.

Thank you for saying this. Jesus, this comment section is crawling with rape apologists AT BEST.

Throughout this whole #metoo movement I’ve been so happy and relieved, because shortly before Weinstein was exposed and #metoo happened, I was raped at work.

Around the same age and that’s exactly how would react to any of that. I only date women, but if anyone moved my hand or expressed any degree of discomfort, all sexual activity is done and we’re just chilling that night. Your desire never ever trumps theirs.

The situation described in the article is complex and I think does (among other things) point out a need for women to have opportunities practicing more direct sexual communication, but your take is nonsense and not least because talking about “courtship” and women “harp[ing] on” stuff tells me your agenda came…

A troll post that got 45 likes. And all the other top-rated comments are similar shit: “nope, no assault here! She went back to his place, she knew what to expect! Why don’t women just stick up for themselves more?!” No nuance of thought, no engagement with the messy politics of consent, no discussion of how Ansari…

Ditto. Just turned 38. I’m horrified at some of these comments.

Fuck this. All these assholes coming out against Grace is hurting MeToo more than anything else. Misogynists are jumping for joy that apparently coercive behavior and pressuring women is not seen as a bad thing. Everyone keeps slut-shaming Grace, or straight-up ignoring the facts of the situation. She came out BECAUSE…

Umm No. Men should learn/listen to non-verbal cues. We all give them off men included.

I think it’s over the top to call it “revenge porn.” There is a pretty big gap between “this person is pushy and maybe not very suave” and “here is an image for everyone to see of a nude person who never agreed to be seen in this context.”

I’m over 35 and had a nearly identical incident happen to me. I walked away from it frustrated and pissed off (due probably to my age and my immediate recognition of what was happening). That doesn’t mean that what happened to Grace is invalid- it means we reacted differently and equally acceptably. It has literally…

Bullshit.

YUP x 1 billion

This piece is unreal. I’ve been looking for Jez’s take on this for over 24 hours. They haven’t covered it at all except to say that Babe did it badly. Way to have those tough conversations, Jez