“This young Guerrero Jr. is a star in the making, and Canadians have adopted them as their own. I propose we find an appropriate way to honor him, and I have a few ideas.”

Can’t they just fucking impeach him already?

“Just what I always wanted… My own little foul ball… I will name him George and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him…”

That kid's name? Lance Armstrong.

I love the evolution of this gif.

Field tests are insanely unreliable when it comes to false positives, and there’s a good reason for this - cops don’t care about false positives AT ALL, all they care about are false negatives, because a false positive lets them arrest and charge you, then when it turns out the test was wrong, they let you go no harm…

you, a non-disruptor: well, you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit

I fucking hate him with the intensity of a billion white hot suns.

Han shot first?

See also:

You’re a friggin’ psycho!

There should be a short dash and a long dash

Dashes ranked.

hiring this guy as bullpen coach was a mistake

“Fucking showoffs.”

This is especially egregious since MLB has added that rectangle target right there above the plate.

From the fanciest black tie dinner party to the lowest gathering of hobos and drunks around a trash can fire, there is one thing that will alway remain true: people with guns ruin fucking everything.

so when the Bruins win the Cup on Wednesday will these ads then show up on the web browsers of poor children in Africa?

Yeah, I really enjoyed that.  They could throw in Rebels as well.

Sorry, was way too pumped about motherfucking pelicans. Fixed.