Tony Kornheiser is going to be thrilled.

Look for the 1/1 Tooth Relic card in tomorrow’s Topps Now!

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

Joe is 74 years old. He worked hard all his life and then became a great politician who ended up being next to the most powerful man in the universe. Now their 8 years are done and an orange guy lives in their house.

You know we’ve come a long way as a society when a legitimate insult from one macho dad to the other is “my son ate your son’s ass on two separate occasions.”

Balls concerned by ass-eating.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Anytime an ultra-right wing guy opens up on an abortion clinic (e.g.,) we are bombarded with statements about how he was unhinged, doesn’t represent real conservatives or what not. This guy DOES NOT REPRESENT THE LEFT. He is a maniac who happened to have ultra left…

Minniti Loses Cinniminson Challenge. Comes Away Crying

Olde Irish toast sounds like a Ryan brothers’ breakfast.

The worst part is he found the guy’s car after he went down the tunnel:

“You didn’t see us racists electing as President a reality tv star completely unfit for any political position until you libtards elected a black guy, so really it’s your own fault.”

Laugh now but we’re going to spend the next week being told that covfefe is a real term and reports that it is indeed not “fake news.”

big idiot’s beef

We are better off with a rock as president.

You’re an insult to everything America strives to be, from the words and deeds of our Founding Fathers, to those of our greatest presidents of centuries past. You are a know-nothing moronic thug cut from the cloth of the very same sick hatemongers our forefathers fought and died to defeat overseas, and the traitorous…

Puig: Yo la tengo!

Are you not aware agencies share Intel amongst each other, no matter if it’s top secret or not? ISIS is a worldwide issue, and if Israelis have knowledge about plots against airlines, THEN who gives a shit who the president tells. People like you are acting like he gave away top secret info regarding military…

That would probably break the internet.

What’s this “yeah, look at me, I’m still running, my ears are pricked up,” stuff. Act like you’ve been there before, horse.

Pretty sure leaning some of your weight on the towel while the guys are securely holding it up can alter how much you actually weigh.