Ohhhhhhhhh. Nooooooooo duuuuuuuhhhhh. And you are the total opposite of a douche...

If you’re going to include crossfit, you should probably delete vaping and swap vegan for Paleo, if you want to be more accurate. Or you could just delete crossfit. It’s pretty rare to find a Tesla-driving vegan crossfitter who vapes.

I once saw a semi cruising on the freeway with a goose’s neck wrapped around his side mirror support. Kind of like when you're playing ladder golf and the string wraps around a couple times.

Yeah, I wonder if she was thinking maybe a doe or a younger deer. And really, once you add antlers, danger level increases exponentially.

I guess it depends on the age. I’m picturing kids in the under 10 range and I think that if you force them to write the notes practically the minute they unwrap them, it’s likely that they’ll resent it and just jump through the hoop instead of internalizing how nice it feels to express gratitude. I picture the whole…

Or you can let them go crazy and play with their toys on Christmas but the next day go to writing the thank you before continuing play. Might also make for a better note if they have specifics from playing with it.

And that is the picture of trying to be pissed at everything.

Lol. They are literally punishing children for the “sins” of their parents. Sorry but even if you define homosexuality as a sin, the only sinning these children have done is to have gay parents.

I don’t know what your background is with the Mormons but my heart is so, so heavy, too. I quit going 18 or so years ago because frankly the treated me like shit because my dad isn't Mormon and I didn't fit their mold. Eventually I realized that the way I felt there was not bringing me closer to God. However, I've…

YES! Winco has a decent approximation of Tagalongs (my personal favorite of which there are only about 15 in a box). I’d much rather buy Winco cookies for $2.50 and give $2.50 directly to the kid.

You know, I initially thought, “Not yours to share, dude.” But on second thought, I like that it’s discussed in the same way as the knee problems, which are almost always fair game for coaches to discuss.

...and that you can do everything single thing “right” and still have horrible things happen. When I’m not just being pissed and bitchy, I do think that people like to be sanctimonious because they have to believe that there is a way to be absolutely certain of a good outcome. Girls I went to high school with who I…

Don't you know that every pregnant woman should gain/lose just the right amount to look cutely movie pregnant? You know, not that 41-weeks miserable swollen ankles thing because eew! But enough to look how I think a pregnant woman should look.

“Why don’t you just email or text me all this info and I’ll send it straight to my doctor. S/he’ll totally give as many fucks as I do about your educated opinion.”

And people don’t do much considering the amount of vertical room a woman has for a kid. Tall ladies get criticized for not looking very pregnant while short ladies with nowhere for a baby to go but out get criticized for being too big. Just pull out your phone and make a note. “I’ll tell my doctor you think she’s…

Please tell me that you then told them that Lucifer was your next choice name. Or... Praise! Let it be twins who could be Lucifer and Jesús.

Husband and I are within a few months of starting to try for a baby. Nice people, I’m nice to. But I can’t wait to fuck with the assholes. Example: I know for sure one (male) coworker is definitely going to be the food police. So I’m not going to say I’m pregnant. When he expresses his concern over my weight gain I’ll…

Yes, there have. But we're talking what, .01% of every civilization to have existed?

Ha! That's just what I was thinking about. Women are so vile and yet somehow babies keep being made...

I think that pulling everything together, taking it out of its normal storage place and putting it in a pile is part of the process. I hear you on the books. I actually did books today. For one thing, the point is to actively choose what you want to keep in your life. It seems like a minor distinction over choosing…