My partner recently spent a year being too depressed to finish his graduate program, or do any housework besides dishes and the monthly bathroom deep-clean, or really take responsibility for fucking anything, but still managed to pursue his time-consuming and expensive hobby 3+ days a week and work out at the gym for…

I had a roommate who was very anarchist in that folk punk wholesome way, and our house had communal groceries but he didn’t want to have to pay money, so instead he dumpstered huge quantities of rotting veg he never cooked and then secretly ate our cereal at night. When confronted, he moved out in a huff and told all…

Yours is better, but when I first moved back to my current city for grad school, I made plans to move in with a good friend from high school. A month before I arrive, she tells me her boyfriend will also be living with us as he had a “toxic situation,” making us three humans and four dogs in a 1000 sq ft house - my…

I love bad Patti. I also have a very naughty cat and she’s delightful, she stole a strawberry from my breakfast in the middle of teletherapy yesterday. 

Well, I missed most of the party, but here’s my Pandemic Breakup Bullshit update.

I was very depressed on Thursday and ate only a bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy the entire day before having two bottled Negronis for dinner. I regretted the starvation and booze, but the roasted garlic mashed potatoes and mushroom thyme gravy were delightful. 

Yummmm I love preserved lemons. So easy to make and so much cheaper than buying them! I don’t know if you’re a huge brunch person, but one of my greatest hits was eggs benedict with lamb sausage instead of ham (ground lamb + harissa paste + garlic, formed into patties and sauteed) and a tablespoon of chopped preserved…

That’s deeply inappropriate and weird because it’s 1) porn at work 2) on someone else’s computer (rude!) 3) topically relevant to their work with young adults and the implicit power differential. Also, wtf, how does one become a college professor and not learn to clear a browser history. It seems almost deliberate,…

I needed to hear that :) I think my new mantra is going to have to be “This is not my problem, this is not my problem, this is not my problem...”

Hahah yes. I tend to mull things over, but with the pandemic this is getting ridiculous. I am approaching an unprecedented pinnacle of surety. NO RAGRETS.

It’s a great impetus to consider what really matters in life and reexamine relationships that aren’t working, and an absolutely shithole time to consider a breakup. 

Oooof yeah that pretty much nails it. I tend towards being a caretaker in the best of circumstances so it took a LOT of effort to gas myself up and take a stand for my needs for a change...and then ever since it’s been a slow deflation. I know my bullshit is the 123870985720934572934572435th reason this pandemic can…

Well, after weeks of agonizing over my decision and feeling like a shitty person, I finally asked my partner for a temporary separation...and promptly got thwarted by the pandemic.

LOVE that color on you. It’s amazing how much we’re all looking forward to really simple, basic shit. Retail is reopening here this week and I am so fucking thrilled to go...window shopping. It seems like the biggest luxury in the world.

I love to cook and having the time and energy for big projects has been pretty much the only good thing about stay at home, but I think I’m finally getting tired of cooking and eating. It’s starting to feel like work :(

Oh me too, it’s going to be weird. Do I jump his bones in the parking lot, or do we awkwardly not touch until I’ve decontaminated? And that’s even assuming there are still flights to his fairly remote corner of the west...

I was seeing someone utterly delightful over the winter. We last saw each other in the beginning of March (long distance) and then took a break when the pandemic hit because he was swamped. We’re starting to make tentative plans for how to restart the very good thing we have going, and seriously the second I will not…

Mine had the gall to complain that I never get enough lunch supplies. We use a digital shopping list he has access to, he just expects me to plan every single meal instead of just dinner, in addition to long-ass shopping trips to buy 2 weeks worth of food at a time, and meal planning to use up perishables first, and…

Not including return labels is so obnoxious. See also: places that only cover return shipping if you do an exchange, not a refund.

Right? I feel like end of buying from the same brands over and over because I’m too busy to shop and hate having to buy multiples and deal with a return.