Agreed. The whole “Giving birth is an amazing miracle and you should love your altered body no matter what because it brought forth life!” attitude is bullshit. If it’s just thickening around the middle or some sagging, whatever, that’s one thing, but radical changes like those discussed above can be…

One of mine likes to pee in public water bowls -__-

I have a single dude friend who routinely borrows my little pittie mix to pick up girls at the park.

Aaaaaahhhhhh EARS EARS EARS.

If I have a daughter I want to name her Evelyn. She can be Evie as a little girl, but won’t be stuck with something cutesy her whole damn life.

You may have just created a monster...

With what?! How long does it last? That would be such an excellent excuse not to give a shit about trimming the sides pre-swimsuit.

I do have a fondness for novelty pubes on the mons and everything else shaved off. Sometimes I do a heart. I watched a bunch of 80s porn last year and had what my gf called “The Hitler Stache.” I have attempted a lightening bolt but it ended up a landing strip.

I just hate when it gets puffy! The hair poof drives me nuts for some reason. If mine would never grow longer than 3/4 of an inch I would probably never pick up a razor again.

I had a very hairy lover in high school who decided to shave only his junk, and picked a completely arbitrary point on his lower belly below which everything was designated “pubes.” The effect was both hilarious and alarming, especially because that arbitrary point was about two inches higher than the waistband of his…

Dibs on the middle dress.

Definitely picturing that guy staring at a baby while it sits in a bouncy seat and the baby staring back. I think dude needed to put the kid in a backpack and get the damn laundry done.

Yay I’m so glad to hear it! I hope things keep looking up :-)

That sounds really awful and hard, I’m so sorry you went through that and I hope your son is doing better now.

The no-effort-followed-by-a-critique usually only comes up during vacations, since he won’t plan anything beyond the travel route and nature stuff so if the hotel or restaurant is too touristy I get complained at. Mr Parade’s day-to-day is more being (deliberately or subconsciously) so inept at basic life management…

Medicating dogs: not rocket science. If you can remember to feed the damn things, you can dump the joint meds on top at the same damn time.

My husband says the same shit: “How do you keep track of all these appointments?” “How do you remember to give everyone their medication at the appropriate time?” “How do you find the best vet/restaurant/day care every time?”

People routinely ask me if my red heeler is half hyena and then argue with me when I say no.

Yay I’m glad you bought the tickets! Sometimes making something happen is the best thing you can do: you get the experience and at least I feel more confident knowing I pulled shit together to do what I want.

I had a friend do one for her female Chihuahua, and it came back as 80% Chihuahua, 20% small terrier thing, 100% male.