I love it when they chirp. I love guinea pigs and all I wish was that I was strong enough to love again after the tragic death of my one and only true guinea pig, Einstein, when I was eleven. He was a white, long-haired guinea that needed regular hair cuts or else he'd run into the wall roomba-style, and he would…

"And lo, He arose and ascended unto heaven to the sound of a thousand vacuums, and all thine cats hid under thy bed forevermore, and thine dogs barked in His name, amen."

The attack from above is SO SURPRISING. I had a friend who lived in a house with a cat that was crazy, probably because it was parented by a bunch of drunk college kids, and the jerk would hide on top of bookcases and drop onto my head in the middle of the night when I'd get up to pee. Also used to shark attack butt…

My cat made the mother of all poorly thought out decisions today and tried to pounce on the shower curtain, but ended up just making a spectacular entrance into my shower while I was trying to shave my legs. And then she couldn't get out right away because the tub was slick from soap, so she just frantically ran in…

1. The ability to breathe underwater

Narcotic by Muslimgauze, any Deepchord, or Carlos Gesualdo's Madrigals (if latin counts as not-lyrics which I totes think it does)

Yeah I got weirded out. They're both square in the uncanny valley for me too, and that, plus the fog, plus the palpable discomfort made it seem a bit like accidental David Lynch.

Yeah, everyone upthread is arguing over whether or not they're in Portugal/is Colin Firth a creepy predator/SERIOUSLY ARE THEY IN PORTUGAL and I'm done here all

I adore you.

You totally don't have to be that outdoorsy for sea kayaking! They're pretty much impossible to capsize, since they're designed for much bigger waves than you'll be in, and most places use doubles so your boyfriend can do the heavy lifting in terms of paddling. We did an overnight trip with two guides, me and Mr…

I grew up in the area and the San Juans are a great place to see orcas! You might want to rethink the anti-kayak stance - motorized boats are required to stay 200 ft away, but in a kayak you just ship your paddle and float. Mr Parade and I did a private sea kayaking trip based out of Friday Harbor on San Juan Island,…

A lot of people do meet-ups/adult sports leagues. This might be a symptom of growing up in Seattle, where people tend to be cold/passively hostile, but people in NYC tend to be pretty friendly and talkative, especially in Brooklyn (Manhattanites can be a little weird/competitive, depending where you are) so it's easy…

I moved here three years ago when Mr Parade got into grad school, expected to hate it or at least be very ambivalent, and I love it. I'm from the west coast, so the Big City East Coast No Nature was all very scary, but it's incredible. It is just so incredibly, insanely vibrant, and if you thrive on stimulation you'll…

My cattle dog has learned how to open the cabinet to the kitchen trash, and when I catch him at it he just sticks his head farther into the cabinet and holds very, very still. I'm not a T-rex, buddy. I know you're in there.

So cute! Guinea pigs are so rewarding, I love the purring and the little eep noises and the derpy cuteness.

Alan Rickman does NOT count as family friendly. At least, not if you have a persistent sexual fantasy of Alan Rickman reading you smutty novels and then asking you if you're a bad girl.

My favorite Italian waiter story was at a traditional Roman style place in Trastevere. Really good, really legit old school Roman food, so very, very heavy. We had walked across the whole damn city so we over-0rdered with suppli (fried risotto) to start and heavy, pork-laden pasta as the first courses for each of us.…

Oh no! I'm so sorry it's a source of stress for you. Long distance blows :-( I hope he figures out what he wants to do (and that that's have an awesome life with a badass doctor)!

My parents have one that eats rocks!

Haha I WISH I was secure in my personality, but I get what you're saying. If someone isn't 100% sure about their choices, looking down on the alternative decisions they could have made is a great way to get a quick boost in confidence.