Shot through the tongue

#blackcoffeematters

Job 5:31: and lo the Lord didst punish Job by forcing him to drink only the coffee left in the Starbucks at 9:00PM, and wouldst not allow him to have a fresh cup.

John 6:55

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

I read The Game a few years ago. One of my Dude Roommates had it, and was like “read this shit, it will definitely piss you off and also I know you and your sister are obsessed with the VH1 show The Pickup Artist.”

Isn’t it downright chilling?

look at this fucking punch bait.

Lots of people will reply to this by saying that they do not vote (or spoil their votes) to protest our fucked up political system. I agree, the system is fucked. A two-party system will always lead to candidates who are too “moderate” (read: conservative) for my liking. But, I also don’t agree with refusing to vote…

One of the best parts (and there have been many) about Daniel Craig’s current GiveNoFucks Bond tour was the exhange when the interviewer asked him what life lessons Bond could give and he was like “well, nothing. He’s actually a misogynist.”

This is also a dude who, in The Man with the Golden Gun, claimed that you can always spot a male homosexual because they can’t whistle. Presumably because they always have a cock in their mouth?

It’s almost as if refusing to protect trans people didn’t stop straight men from going into womens’ restrooms to assault children there.

Dear Entire Town of Dearborn, Kansas,

The day I decided I would not have sex with any man who didn’t first make me cum with his mouth was the day I left sexual purgatory and was admitted to Elysian Fields.

real conversation i’ve had with a tinder date

the paper also engages in the wince-worthy description of what they call “marginally significant” or “near significant” data.

I can't believe this is real. This can't be real. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Yeah the commenters there were real shit stains

As a guy, I find it insulting that these Christian dickheads have such a low opinion of men that they feel it necessary to proscribe a wide variety of normal female behavior lest it turn guys into slavering animals. Thanks for the implication, dudes.