I just want to make sure that this isn’t one of those things where all of these things are fake and I have to pick the real one.

How have I not seen this?

So what if I can whistle, but not very well?

Fuck this. Just fuck all of this.

Can the US just get rid of the whole fraternity/sorority thing? It’s weird and dumb and uncommonly full of assholes.

Sure, there are several levels of irony here, but this is good. I hope she gets where she needs to go.

I’ve never understood this fear of oral sex. If you don’t go down you don’t deserve to get much back. Besides, eating out is fun as hell. Who doesn’t enjoy fun? Assholes. That’s who.

I read this thinking “I’m missing what they’ve censored, here. It’s some sort of watermelon drink so I’m assuming it’s some stupid as shit racist joke”.

This was pretty much exactly my reaction. Of course, that was my reaction after a series of rhetorical questions I asked myself that included: What the fuck did I just read? Who actually thinks like this? Who thinks like this and doesn’t have the good sense to know that it makes them look like monsters? How could he…

The seemingly random usage of quotation marks and capital letters is not the work of someone who routinely abuses the English language as an outlet for their feelings of impotence.

Literally cannot stop the skeevy feeling this whole thing gives me.

Fuck this guy. Fuck “prank” videos in general.

If they want to raise the birth rate, they might start with feeding their citizens.

Gonna eat at this restaurant.

This whole “Keep it alive to harvest the brain” thing just reminds me of Robocop 2.

I’m still good friends with my ex. I don’t see why adults who don’t hate each other wouldn’t be.

This article is my thoughts made real. I thought I was the only person who though Crash was so forgettable that the only interesting thing about it was how many awards it won.

Here is an exhaustive list of things that are not like rape:

In all likelihood, she was acting like a self-entitled asshole and made a mess on purpose to teach those punks at Dairy Queen a lesson.

I’ve been pretty fat and I’ve been not fat. I’ve found it’s really a matter of where you are and how people around you act. I’m 6’1” and I’ve been 200ish for most of my adult life. Even when I’m carrying extra, my height hides it pretty well.