I can’t believe people this stupid are able to make money. I should just be an idiot and make millions.

Where people can afford the privilege of turning up their noses at the greatest scientific contributions maybe of all time.

because a fucking polio outbreak is exactly what 2016 needs

Michael Bennett as well. Remind Gardner he’s our senator too. We’re still here and he did not beat Udall by much.

More like blaring cacophony.

“it’s unfortunate that people still have these racist undertones”

And scented with the perfume of exuberant racial hatred. The Next Thing on catwalks in Tuscaloosa. Hattiesburg. Pocatello. Well, just about anywhere these days.

or just tones?

Well, not me, but if that’s your thing, have at.

I say this to my kids all the time. They never understood it, then we moved near a childhood friend and she said it to my kids. And I was all, I TOLD YOU IT WAS A THING!!! In hindsight, showing them the video would have been easier than moving

Because they were so close together we really hadn’t gotten over the exhaustion from the first when the second came. In fact, we found out my wife was pregnant with the second when she walked into the living room and said I think I felt a baby kick. I reacted like the baby had kicked me in the stones. My wife still…

Someone I know went on a Tinder date the other weekend with some guy who was like 35 and said he wanted “5 or 6" kids. This was on the first date, so I assume this translates to “I want you to raise 5 kids while I continue doing what I want all the time”. Needless to say, there was not a second date.

I was four years old when the Finchbro was born, which was just old enough to realize that being an only child was a good thing.

“miscellaneous household cleaning”

You get cow marrow out of chicken wings? The fuck kind of animals they breeding in your neck of the woods?

*fighting tears of laughter*

What’s the worst thing to spill in the kitchen?

I have a 9 year old, and because I’m fucking clinically insane also a 3 year old AND a 1 year old. There is no combination that doesn’t involve some form of fighting , hitting, tackling, tripping, projectiles, screaming, teasing, or booby traps. Even the fucking one year old goes in for an eye rake at the bottom of…

Look at John D. Rockefeller over here bragging about his bottles.

Wine comes in a bottle?