That sounds more like Katy Perry.

by Ari Schwartz

If I had that body, I'd sing to it too.

why is the dude singing to his belly affectionately?

We could bring peace to the world, just imagine...

I am so happy that you got out of this relationship. Thank you for sharing your story, I wish you nothing but happiness in your future.

would you like to contribute to my newsletter: The White Power of Milk?

don't you mean "udderly" disgusting? (Sorry, couldn't help myself)

coincidence this group of lacto-tolerant people have dominated the world politically and economically? OR, has imbibing the milk of the ovine imbued them with the strength of the bull and the thriftiness of the sow?

Also, didn't know I would be posting picturezilla.

I got through two gallons of milk a week. It's delicious and nothing goes better with desserts in general. And don't come at me with that nut/soy milk nonsense. Fucking pretenders to the throne all, they need to be banished to the outer realms to go hang with other frauds like Tofurkey.

What about milk in your alcohol?

Counterpoint: Milk is delicious.

Ah yes, pageant portraits — the uncanniest valley of them all. Hurrrrk.

She was originally going to go with Summer Eve, but decided that would be too douchey...

I almost bought Timberland heels this past fall from Nordstrom. But I didn't, because unfortunately I am poor :(

Kroll show ends after this season, and you forgot Workaholics.

So I guess I really should watch this show then, huh?

If that's the case, she sucks. Revenge porn is the fucking worst.

"Delete your texts and pics dude!"