17 and still paralyzed - therefore, still a minor and reliant upon his parents - and says it was a lie. You know what, kid? You're good in my books because that takes a lot of guts.

Throwing it out there: I have for sure fallen asleep during sex before. I don't mean this in a "oh WHAT, now every time you fuck a passed out person you're a RAPIST???" way cause, duh, so many things wrong with that statement. But sex doesn't exist in a vacuum, and Broad City certainly explores every fucked up, funny,…

It's like a barbie flesh suit with a vagina ruffle on the front.

LITERALLY WHAT IS SHE WEARING

My business ShipYourEnemiesToAbuDabi.com got shut down and three of my employees got arrested for kidnapping. Go figure.

"snippity, snippity, snippity snop"

Cantaloupe is hit or miss, but when it is a hit... YOWZERS! (I highly recommend the fruit guy in front of the Chase on 31st and 3rd in Manhattan - he always tells you when the cantaloupe is awesome).

9:28PM Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader are the only antidote to the near fatal boredom of this ceremony.

I'm happy that Transparent exists, and generally happy that it won, but don't LOVE it as a show. I like the idea of Transparent more than I like Transparent itself. Kind of like Turkish Delight.

Unpopular opinion: there is no "Latino" culture. Ms. Rodriguez is lovely but as a Brazilian I don't feel I have any ore in common with her than I do with someone who is Polish.

1. Im confused since she tweeted just very recently

There is something about her that I just can't get on board with. I can't put my finger on it but something is off and not in the good quirky way.

jia, i like the way you do words in the order that you do. you are good at words orders.

I'll admit though, the humblebragging is just absolutely priceless. "Hey ladies on a lady blog, let me tell you in detail just how big my dick is! No, wait, I need to describe it in detail!" ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED.

Matt, quit making burners to post about how hot you are. We've discussed this.

He wants to cuddle with you while you're still moist from the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of panties. **shudder**

I can't lie: I checked out as soon as I hit the word "cuddle" in the first bullet point. "Cuddle" is the "moist" of relationship words. *cringes*

Let's hope it lingers.

We are all very terse with her at Countess meetings. Truth be told, this was the case even before the whole homunculus issue... She was always pretty douchey.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE OTHER JENNERS OUTSIDE OF KENDALL AND KYLIE.