Are you a real person? O_O

These posts never, ever got old for me.

Pumpkin lattes bring white girls to the yard.

Next thing you're going to be trying to tell us is that she doesn't even have a yard.

I feel like 75% of the comments on Jezebel are written by THAT PERSON. They're everywhere, tut-tutting at the world, unable to sit down because of that big stick up their ass.

I have never felt so wholesome in my life. I think I'm going to go iron something while I sing "Edelweiss".

I just know that, in the future at some point, this is going to show up on the "Recently Watched" section of our Netflix, in amongst the Clifford the Big Red Dogs and Breaking Bads, and I am going to have to reconsider my marriage all over again.

Damn right. I expect only free range organically fertilized opium in my Chinese food.

Well, now I kind of want to try opium. GAWD, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF TRIGGER WARNINGS

YEAH, BUT IS THERE MSG IN IT BECAUSE I DON'T EAT THAT

Well here is hoping the Opium was at least organically grown.

I'll say it. Applebee's is my favorite of the "casual chain" category. I know it is objectively bad, but I can't help it. I love Fiesta Lime Chicken.

Because someone has to

I don't have a problem with the term privates. That's generally what I use when talking to a child that isn't my own. I think that's a good one because it reenforces that it's a private area.

Yes to all of this. But also, I just wanted to mention how much I miss her "Reno 911" character, Clementine.

Tom Sawyer and especially Huck Finn are on many, many banned book lists.

Rabble rabble rabble!

No one's going to rush to pay my bail if I ever get arrested.

Grits in Louisiana might be "Girls Raised in the South". Also in NOLA there's a bar that's popular with the under 25 set called Grits as well.

Cyrus always seems a few heartbeats away from a heart attack or stroke.