That middle one is my new favorite thing.

It's all about the Benjamins baby!

I think this might be the first time I've seen all of you in photos larger than your tiny avatars.

He goes on to explain that every time a "waitress" does something he doesn't like, he takes a dollar off the stack and puts it back in his wallet. According to him, this guarantees EXCELLENT "waitress" behavior. He ends it with, "And it doesn't matter anyway, we live in [a state] where the restaurant has to pay them…

Obviously the steak fajitas had not been grilled enough. The longer you grill them, the more tender they become. Look it up.

When I was 14 I desperately wanted curly hair and found out the only way to get the look I wanted was with a perm. My mother was totally against it but said if I wanted it so badly I would have to pay for it myself. I saved up babysitting money and went to a beauty college/cosmetology school to get it done. They must…

When I was 13, my school did some kind of Chinese festival thing. To really get in the spirit of things, my friends and I decided to do heavy black eyeliner to like...make our eyes look more angular? Not intentionally racist, but definitely racist in hindsight. The (other) problem was, I decided that was a super great…

Like this?

A friend at work who I admired tons—she was soooo elegant and lovely in that way that seems effortless and natural, plus she was smart as hell—had hair similar in texture to mine, and we had similar complexions, too. So, I often cribbed her makeup tips. She also looked stunning with her chic short hair, while I had…

I have dark black hair. Long dark black hair. But when I was a teenager I was not happy having long dark black hair. However It's hard to lighten black hair when you don't know what you are doing and silly me I thought you could bleach your hair with actual bleach. So I went to the cupboard and got the javex and…

When I ws 15, I read in YM that a teaspoon of olive oil is a good conditioner. I thought, "well if a teaspoon is good, a cup (yes, really) will make it GREAT". I tried to rinse it with....more conditioner, and it made it worse (DUH). I took Irish Springs soap and lathered half the bar into my head....still oily. By…

When I was in 8th grade, I was determined to have one of those cute, circa-2000 pixie cuts you saw in Delia*s catalogs and Seventeen magazine (usually accompanied by tiny pigtails and/or an inordinate amount of butterfly barrettes). So, for my 13th birthday, my mom took me to the salon for a makeover. Problem: it was…

Growing up I had this beautiful mane of thick hair. It was super long and I would force my mother to blow dry it. She eventually got sick of this and convinced me to let her best friend (she was one of those ladies who have a mini-salon in their house) give me a perm. I was 8. I still give my mother shit for allowing…

My sister did the same thing, only she tried to use it for lipstick. Poor thing had a dark blotch on her lips for ages after that.

Alternate Fox News approved course titles:

Ian O'Connor says it perfectly in an espn article: "This isn't about whether the Patriots needed to cheat. This is only about whether they did cheat." So stop with the mentioning of the bullshit argument it wouldn't have mattered. That is not the issue.

If you notice Pitt does not talk about it, she does, to sell movies.

If everyone kept asking me about my ex-husband ten years later, I'd lose my shit.

The properties of drunkenness are difficult for me, a non legal professional and non media professional, to understand. HER drunken state makes her more culpable in her rape. HIS drunken state makes him less culpable of the rape he committed. Huh.