I will totally be there!!

Holy shit that is awful. I think you win. I am so glad you guys finally got to be together, too. Have you thought of maybe having a vow renewal? Kind of a re-do? I normally think those things are really self indulgent but you totally deserve it!

Hmm... could be. The wedding was in Waco. There WAS in fact a lady singing about Jesus. There was also an organ march that sounded like the soundtrack to a horror movie because the groom is an organist and it is is favorite piece and he wanted it in his wedding regardless of how well it fit.

Like I've said to a couple of other people, if someone is dumb enough to show up in casual clothes to a wedding held at the First Baptist Church with a reception in a fancy hotel, the faux pas is on THEM. Telling guests how to dress is plain rude.

That sounds really fun! My wedding was held in a 100-year-old country school house turned community center they let us rent for $150 for FOUR DAYS. Some catering friends of my stepmom's did chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, green beans, salad, bread, and tea for around $10/head (basically at cost).…

Aw man they would have hated my wedding! Lots of wanton drunkenness, lots of dancing, lots of gay people, and a few non-whites as well! Also, Mormon weddings sound worse than Baptist weddings.

If you want a black tie formal affair, throw one. If people show up in jeans, the faux pas is on them. If you start dictating the way your guests dress on your wedding website, though, that's rude. I'm pretty sure someone would privately inform your grandpa he has to wear a suit. :)

I grew up Church of Christ (don't ask) and went to plenty of no-booze no-dancing cake-and-punch-in-the-church-basement receptions. The difference is that most of those were held during the day, were quick and cheap, and they didn't expect people to actually get down and PAR-TAY.

Vomit to the max.

But you don't say that on the wedding info site for your guests. If someone is dumb enough to wear jeans or shorts to a wedding held at the First Baptist Church in Waco, TX, that's on THEM. They're the ones that will look like idiots. Telling people how to dress is rude.

Bwah! I believe there was the whole "no man can tear asunder" bit. I kind of tuned out after the anti-gay "between a MAN and a WOMAN" thing.

That sounds awesome. Some of the best weddings (including my own) are thrown on a shoestring budget. I had less than $10k to spend and still managed to have great food, an open bar, and a hell of a party. I've been to lots of weddings that were the similar. One of my friends got married in a city park and it was one…

Like... I don't even think it's legal in some states.

That sounds incredible.

Magic vagina? She's secretly a succubus? I have no idea.

Her name doesn't happen to be "Connie," does it? 'Cause I also had an evil stepmother and all this is very familiar. She has been married three -no wait it's four!- times since my dad. She is a psychopath. Just totally blank and cold.

And then they get mad that nobody will dance.

I bet you couldn't wait to get out of there.

The free wine/$5 water thing is the weirdest thing I have ever heard.

Yeah, if that's the kind of wedding you want - great! Go for it! But don't expect people to stick around and party because that usually takes a little help. You can't not have food or booze and expect people to stick around. Why is that so hard to understand?