I’ll never understand why people infantalize Britney so doggedly on Jezebel.

I can’t be the only one that wouldn’t even want that ring. It just looks fucking uncomfortable, let alone the abstract absurdity of it.

It’s not a big deal. A black bar in a photo just means you have 72 hours to find and kill all of your blood relatives or Lizzie rises from the grave to drag you, screaming, into Hell.

It’s almost as if we live in a terribly sexist and misogynistic patriarchy...

Ah, I remember it well. I remember the beginning, the middle, the awkwardness, the tragic ending. And I remember what passed for royal style in the 1980s.

The media didn’t change the rules. The cultural revolution and feminism changed the rules; they redefined marriage. Women deserve so much more than to be sold into marriages for social and political reasons to a man who will neither love nor be faithful to them. They deserve more than suffering the humiliation of…

Seriously, Blondi didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve to be owned by Hitler period, but especially that.

You don’t need to defend Hitler, this isn’t the hill to die on.

Anecdotal data and rampant speculations! Do you work for Star? InTouch? Just how close is Harvey Levin to the editorial board? Does Alba really pay you guys to take pictures of her kids at the park? That seems creepy, ya’ll should figure out another way to go about it. But her diapers are SO HEALTHY!

Straight to hell.

After listening to the Season 1 follow ups this week, I kinda feel like this woman, Asia McClain, is the perfect witness, completely unflappable, and not biased in one way or the other.

I never get the people who complain about the Oscars being too long. If I had something important to be doing I wouldn’t be watching the Oscars in the first place.

MY MOTHER HAD THIS BOOK AND I RELENTLESSLY PORED OVER IT, BOTH SCANDALIZING AND SOOTHING MY FAT, NERDY, 90s SELF.

Why, because we needed something to go on top of the toilet, of course, in fancy-looking but Walmart-cheap cut glass bowls in the shape of hearts! That’s what we did with it. We also put it in hand-covered fabric baskets and gave it out as house-warming gifts...not that me or my mom would know anything about that...

I stuff my straw hats with potpourri and hang them on the lightbulbs

“If you want to create a mid price point jewelry collection in which the pieces look like butts, do it. Butts are timeless.”

• “Hang your collection of straw hats in your hall instead of smart wallpaper.”

Good sweet god, it’s like a singularity of tulle and chintz and Laura Ashley wallpaper and swans and straw rugbeaters as decor and great, choking clouds of L’Aire du Temps. In other words, ROMANTIC GLAMOUR. Just reading this, I feel like I’m being buried alive in mound of rose potpourri, wrapped in this:

And now she sells jewelry that looks like butts.

Selfishly, I like this mainly because I never talk about my relationship on Facebook. Like ever. Because I don't feel like there's too much to talk about? There's nothing revelatory about our relationship that Facebook needs to know and for the most part our relationship feels intimate and personal between the two of…