That's because you probably know mostly smart people. I have several coworkers who just loooove this show and bemoan the fact it is going away. They are not smart people.

I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!

-shrug- That's just the way it works. You can always ask to be moved and see what they say.

Usually, it's because of server staffing. Restaurant seating goes on a rotation so that all the servers ostensibly get an even number of tables. If a restaurant is very slow during off hours, they may only have one section technically "open" because only one server is on staff. And most sections are three-five tables,…

Right? People find doctors willing to give them their 20th facelift or implant horns or whatever in their skulls. It doesn't seem that far of a stretch that if you looked long enough you'd find a doc unscrupulous enough to give you a third boob.

You would be amazed. I have seen people stand in the middle of a crowded restaurant pointing out table possibilities while the poor 16-year-old hostess just stands there mortified vainly attempting to get them to just freaking sit somewhere already. Some people are ridiculously picky about their table location. Like,…

Thank you! This was the first thing that came to mind!

I know, right? Now I REALLY want sushi, but it's my father-in-law's birthday and we're taking him out to eat tonight and he hates fish. :( :( :(

This feature is the best thing about Mondays.

Don't go the the Gawker version of this article, either. It's either racist bullshit or all about how stupid stoners are. Jez is the last bastion of sanity on the internet, I swear.

I used to as well because, sadly, it was the best pizza in this shit kicker town. We just got a Papa Murphy's, tough, and let me tell you - Papa John's will no longer darken my door. Papa Murphy's is sooo much better! And since it's take and bake, you make it at your convenience to your liking.

Right? My god, these judgey comments are the worst. Do these people not know anyone with tattoos? Everyone I know with sleeves did them gradually, a bit here and a bit there. Some took years to complete. Tattoos are not generally done like they are on the reality shows where they do, like, one giant pack piece or…

Oh god. When I lived in China, they were still letting people smoke on domestic Chinese flights. It was the WORST. The fucking worst. I would get off the plane with cigarette stank just soaked into my clothes, hair, and skin. It doesn't matter if you're in the "non-smoking" section at all. Banning smoking on airplanes…

How did she get nail polish remover through security?! WTF??

When I was 14, I flew alone from Hong Kong to London to meet up with my aunt. I got seated next to a guy probably about the same age I am now, maybe early-mid 30's. Anyway, we said hello, he started chatting. He had been in Japan studying manga and making a collection to take back for his masters thesis. I had lived…

My husband used the neti pot the other day without distilled water and I was horrified. What about the brain amoebas?! THEN, oh my god, he REFUSED to let me TELL HIM about the brain amoebas! I am so worried about the brain amoebas now.

VOMIT! VOMIT TO THE MAX! People are disgusting.

"Pap police," hahaha. My PA conned me into getting mine by refusing to write my birth control until I scheduled the Well Woman exam! That got my legs in the stirrups posthaste!

Your first doc sounds like the only female Obgyn in this town whom I refuse to see. I went to her once and she kept me waiting for three fucking hours after my appointment time. A friend of mine from work went to her for her pregnancy. She passed the buck to a "specialist" who my friend had to drive two hours to see,…

It is so important to feel comfortable with your doctor. I wish more medical professionals understood this.