Let’s stipulate that Uzo Aduba would have killed as Nina Simone. Can we have a moment of sympathy for Zoe Saldana?

As a kid in So Cal there was a big tv news thing when “Bubbles” the hippo escaped from Lion Country Safari. Hippo was totally happy in a pond it found. Idiots from LCS shot it with a tranquilizer dart while it was in the water, and it drowned.

It is a well-known scientific fact that if you look at a butthole closely enough, you will see the words “Exit” inscribed on it in the language your mother spoke when she was pregnant with you.

also its science

What is it with feet? Like, why is that the part of the fetus I’m supposed to get emotionally invested in?

“The rectum is an exit, not an entrance”

What’s the under/over on the odds of how many Jesus fearing, gun toting, Bible humping, bow tie wearing, rectum obsessed, so called family values men fucked eachother in the ass after a smoking meth at this heavenly, blesses suare?

That...is not what 10-week fetus feet look like!

As a graphic designer, AAAAAGH, AGH, MAKE IT STOP, JESUS GOD.

In Belize I knew this whole family led by a Grandmother, and she and her dozen (approx) grandchildren would PILE into the room, squash into the couch and watch all the Golden Girls episodes that came on mid-morning, about three in a row, I think. The kids fucking LOVED the GGs and laughed their tiny asses off.

I’m going to be honest, whenever anyone gives me shit about abortion (including threatening to kill my children so I learn the value of life) I tell them the story of my great-grandmother, who was recently divorced and had been raped and impregnated by her married landlord. She had no other choice but a coat hanger…

On the right he looks like he just modelled for a youtube tutorial on “all the brow mistakes you don’t know you’re making”.

A new hair line, a fresh coat of “Just for men,” and a Botox brow lift did wake him. You’re also correct about the soul loss.

I love the dichotomy of his party boy persona vs. his save-the-earth-we-only-have-one image. I imagine he howled with the boys then was all like “but for real guys, wolves are really endangered.”

Leo’s curse of Susan Lucci is over, but Bear should have won it. What would Leo do next?

Bobby, did you see this yet?

The good thing about Leo winning is now everyone will STFU about it. Tom Hardy is ten times the actor Leo will ever be. Leo has been in good movies, but he has zero range. He’s either freaking out, or being charming.

I don't even mind Leonardo DiCaprio, but I just wanted him to lose so, so, much. And for Mad Max to win Best Picture. But I'm one of those people who can't have nice things.

The only good thing about this Leo win is the ensuing model/pussy posse shitshow of debauchery that will be the next three months.