“When Michelle and I came into office....”

I can’t even with this guy today.

Im pregnant again now and very much middle aged. Can you imagine how things are going to turn out?! Pancakes AND waffles everywhere!

I have zero mileage in this! I’m merely a stepmom 😃 I do have a freaky post-birth story though! My best friend had her baby and went through the weeks of no sex while healing. First time they tried sex she had searing pain and had to stop. Saw her gyno and discovered that she had healed a bit too well. Somehow she…

I've had three sections, have three beautiful children and a stomach that looks like it's pouting.

*sigh* I'm trying to lose the last 15 pounds of baby weight, and I was hoping the pouch would go away once I did. You just killed my dreams.

BANE OF MY MOTHERFUCKING EXISTENCE, that pouch.

Yes, but the c-section pretty well borks your abdomen with a big scar that creates a “pouch” above it. Trust me.

In the police’s and everyone else’s defense, the story was completely ridiculous and seemed like a hoax. Shame on us, I guess, for thinking all criminals acted in ways that resembled some for of logic or self-interest. #NotAllCriminals

Is that what people wear to the first day of class at NYU? Because I’m pretty sure I showed up at the first day of classes at UMass in men’s boxer shorts from the dude down the hall and a shirt that said “girls suck dick”.

Any show I watch now I just think, “This show would be better with Bryan Cranston”.

Booo. BOOOOOOO. Bad. Bad commenter.

I like him a whole lot. Mostly because I love actors who hit their peaks after, like, 40.

Yeah like... I can’t get mad about him saying that being famous is like being pregnant. He’s awesome, and also, I’ve discovered there’s only so much outrage I can muster in a given week and I’m pretty tapped out.

How the fuck Tori spelling get close enough to the hibachi grill to fall on it and burn herself??

Why can’t he be my husband? Did you see him make a “your mom” joke to some teenager in a Q&A? I don’t even care, he literally mic dropped. <333 FOREVER!!!

bryan cranston is perfect.