Regardless of my feelings toward the NFL, saying that bad shit happening at home and abroad permits you to act like an asshole and violate the terms of your agreement is stupid. She regularly acts bratty and then plays the victim, and it's so tired.
amycee
amycee
Most women go up about two sizes. I just have Frankenboobs that have decided I'm not having a baby, I'm having a litter.
It's a virus.
What is a medical bra and where do I buy one? If it's the super-fug beige 10-clasp nursing bra with scaffolding that's currently keeping my boobs afloat, then thanks for nothing. But if my OB can prescribe a bra that can hike these size K suckers (I was a C cup! A C cup!) up past my navel, well, hit me, Doc.
Done! I'm also retroactively boycotting it by never having purchased it ever. Stickin' it to em.
I just can't stand the idea that someone has it easier than me. But also, I like to remind people that I have it the hardest, ever. It really feeds my martyr complex.
It should absolutely be a crime to be such a giant dickbag. My only consolation is that he probably doesn't have many good interpersonal relationships.
Yes, I do hate you. If I suffer, so should you!
Nothing has ever worked better for my hair and scalp than coconut oil. I've spent a small fortune on every product for dry hair, and a deep condition with coconut oil makes me look like I've stepped out of a Pantene commercial.
Dear Patrick Stewart,
I will marry you if you want. Yes, we're both married to other people, and they are lovely, so I guess I'm proposing a four-way marriage. Let me know.
Amy
What is the matter with people?
Ugh again. Just ugh. I hate that so many men feel entitled like that. I wish I ever had the presence of mind to punch one of these motherfuckers right in the face, but I'm always so shocked in the moment that all I can do is get myself out of there.
Right? Boobies is what eight year old boys whisper to each other, giggling.
Ugh, your poor mother! What a nasty, nasty individual. I think women are conditioned from birth, practically, to be accommodating to men. To allow them to speak to us in any circumstance, to give them our attention even if they don't deserve it or haven't earned it. I'm still trying to fight my instinct to explain…
If I were trying to attract the attention of the opposite sex with an animal sound, I wouldn't pick snake. Unfavorable comparison. I'd go for something majestic, like a whinnying desert stallion or a lion roaring on top of a mountain.
Especially when I'm in the middle of crossing the street. While pregnant. I really don't need my attention drawn from the two-ton missiles flying about for a shitty comment.
This is for you, gentleman who waved at me from your car while I was in the middle of a crosswalk. Waved so urgently that I pulled my headphones out and changed directions just for you to utter, "God, I love me some big, pregnant boobies."
"Accidentally".
You've been doing it wrong this whole time! That's why I only wait until Vogue has declared a fashion safe. I am still anxiously awaiting word on his-n-hers matching polyester jumpsuits, because those need to come back yesterday.