Maybe Toyota “gifted” them a few Fords so ISIS would stop making all of their recruitment videos look like Toyota ads.

The former HP President has been one of the most public defenders of the series of deceptively edited videos released by the Center for Medical Progress.

They may not want it to become precedence as it could be used in future cases against them.

“FUCK YOU! I DON’T WANT NONE OF YOUR ILLUMINATI KALE!”

A lot of the really funny stuff on Caddyshack was improvised on set (like Bill Murray’s Cinderella scene) and wasn’t in the screenplay, which the WGA is using as their criteria.

Then there was the job where me and my boss had to bust one of the executives for having an insanely large child porn collection which he used his work desktop to download it all. Seriously, you can’t even fathom how large of a collection this was. Being a “well respected” and high up executive, he got to retire with…

Someone did that to me a few months ago when I was buying a transit pass. I hadn’t been at the cashier for 30 seconds and was paying the $141.50 on my credit card, when this old bag came up and pushed her way through next to me trying to buy some bus coupons.

Well I guess it makes sense that the country with no paid maternity leave must have the most rational birth control and family planning educational systems in place since they clearly don’t encourage people to have children they can’t afford or encourage them to have unwanted children.

Thank GOD you speak American! I’m sick of having those fucking Mexicans take my order

The owner laughed, told her he’d talked to me, and that he’d appreciate it if she took her business elsewhere. She was still cursing and yelling as he disconnected the call.

Overheard in 2001:

I saw the following from Deadline (Source: http://deadline.com/2015/10/the-la…)

My parents had Annie Lennox’s Diva album and on Walking on Broken Glass for years I though one of the lyrics was “save me from the blacks” when it was “save me from the blast”.

Another thing that really hits you is when you’re broke and on your own and trying to eat healthy is the quantities that most fresh food comes in. Fresh food naturally has a limited shelf life so if I buy some asparagus or a container of lettuce at the supermarket, guess what I’m eating for the rest of the week? If I…

He has dinner with us once in a while. The other day I made roasted smashed potatoes...baby potatoes boiled, then smashed with the palm of your hand, seasoned with olive oil, s and p, then roasted in a hot oven till the outsides are crisp and the insides are creamy.

You know she totally goes on vacation to a foreign country and doesn’t make an ounce of effort to pick up any of the language (not even “hello” or “thank you”), spends the trip speaking loudly and condescendingly to everyone and then complains how rude the locals are.

1. The audacity to assume a person has the power to command a restaurant’s staff to move paying customers that were there before them.

Perhaps they were Salmon-Day Adventists and had a slightly different interpretation of Cod than the restaurant offered?

“I want a Greek Platter but I don’t do olives, I don’t do hummus, I don’t do cheese and bread hurts my stomach.”

She. Called. In. Dead.