You lost me at “produces a result.”

If your bacon is being overpowered by your egg, you're clearly not using enough bacon.

To be fair, that's not her chin.

And yet no one will sit next to Jimmy Carter at an Atlanta Falcons game.

Lots of people are braying . . .

In his defense, he was told that, after the season, there’s a chance he could go back to the minors.

You've never had to sit through a meeting with my boss.

Surely there must be *some* good reason to sue Judas Priest, though.

Judging from these stories, you shit and/or pissed your pants?

God made Adam and Eve, not Sodom and Hargreaves.

Run, Forrest, run!

As an aside, all directions in New Orleans begin, “You know where the Popeyes is?”

>> Puking up half-digested sushi should be an art form.

What’s the mattah, guy? Your icehouse sink inta Winnipesaukee this wintah or sumthin’?

Pussy.

How ‘bout a NSFW tag, man?

Enjoying imagining a superfan taking up a mantel (as opposed to the metaphorical mantle).

Does he have a side specialty in Chapter 7 law?

Dingers in visiting ballparks is especially rare in the modern era, when most ballparks prefer to stay put at home.