Here’s the thing- it’s only been in the last 30-40 years that wigs weren’t a thing for white people. I remember my (white) mother wearing wigs in the 70's and early 80's. This needs to come back, stat!

This. She is Jessica Simpson minus the quality and fit. I bought a blazer of Ivanka’s a few years ago at Off Fifth and it fell apart on the second wearing.

The designers lent it to her. It is a sample piece used for PR. Just like when an actress shows up at an awards show wearing one gazillion dollars worth of ugly jewelry.

I’m laughing my face off at “All I want to do is fart on you.” I would also approve “The First Butt is the Deepest.”

I am 44 and that sounds fantastic. Can we be friends?

My friend and I can turn any song into a song about vaginas (and the occasional anal bead). Sadly, my boyfriend isn’t as amused about this ability as I am.

You are behind the times, my friend. The newest, hippest thing is “micro-dosing” with psychotropic drugs, since Big Pharma anti-anxiety meds are bad, bad, bad.

It’s the “special snowflake” syndrome. Step away from my body temple with your vaccines! Never mind that you are depleting the rainforests with your copious use of raw coconut oil. Doctors are wrong, juicing is right. Eat Whole Foods except when you are eating freaky processed peanut butter powder and taking…

A French Fry and Frye Boot festival would be awesome. Poutine, anyone?

That is one achy-breaky wig.

I always remember watching “Miracle on 34th Street” and being intrigued by the idea that Macy’s started working on tge next year’s Thanksgiving day parade the day after it took place. Festivals like Coachella have a big full-time staff, not to mention all the third parties that make it run- stage directors, engineers,…

Congrats on your event! Event planning is no joke. It is one of the top 10 most stressful jobs.

And how the hell did she pony up another $500?

Trish McEvoy is *literally* the only mascara that doesn’t end up halfway down my face by noon. I’ve tried every “waterproof” mascara under the sun and always ended up looking like Robert Smith. I have the same problem with eyeliner. Give me Missha’s Powerproof liquid liner or give me death.

Puberty is weird. When I was 13, I went from an AA bra to a full C seemingly overnight. I was skinny as hell too.

What a hard worker our dear Lilo is. Between her couture hijab line, Refugee-infused water, nightclub chain, losing fingers, and creating new languages, she now brings us...whatever this is.

That makes me want to vomit. Lady CEO’s don’t need a dumbass title. Of course, I think this whole company is dumb af.

He looks like my dog, mid-piss. One leg hiked up, with a blank stare, oblivious to the world.

I picked up one of those free local monthly papers at the grocery last week and it had an article about how you should not go to the dentist if you have a cavity because that asshole will fill you full of nefarious toxins. Instead you should try oil pulling! How can people be this dumb?

I say fuck it. I’ve always loved fashion, but I started doing the “uniform” style of dressing this year. 5 turtleneck bodysuits, 5 A-Line skirts, mix and match. Works for my body type (big boobs, small waist, covers big lower belly and hips) and I don’t have to think much about my wardrobe. I plan to do the same for…