This link gives some more detail about why she was arrested:

Damn my weakness for eyeliner!!

It’s just like that episode of Veronica Mars!!!!

Watched Don Jon on Netflix a while ago and I (unexpectedly) LOVED it.

The only way bacon could be fat free is if it were made of cardboard, or some other inedible substance.

Also, does she know fat-free bacon isn’t a thing. HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE A THING?!

My guess is that “baby lighter” means those mini Bic lighters, which are also probably the right size for a baby to hold.

and grits with a damn Z