Look dude, you wanna stick your dick in a toaster, I’m not going to stop you.

I would install that app. We could probably get someone on Fiver to code the app, then we need someone to set up a cryptocoin that we’re going to use as our currency to pay using the app, we do an initial coin offering so people hoping to get in on the ground floor of our new crypto-juice-economy give us bitcoins, we…

Dude has too much head for his face, or not enough face for his head.

Why you gotta be a downer?

But she attacked the police officer first, brutally ramming her face into his fist, and he has the bruised knuckles to prove it.

#HeritageNotHate #RetroNotRacist

Looks like some job openings in the Trump regime. Have you tried being racist on Twitter?

I paid $20 to the Universal Life Church for this Doctor of Divinity degree and you will call me Dr. American Meatgoat.

A whole shitload of Putin’s 50 Ruble Army.

Look, I get that you’re maybe a crazy person, but the whole Comet Pizza thing was started by 4Chan as a prank. Sometimes the pedos on /b/ use “cheese pizza” as a code word for child pornography, get it CP? So some of the /b/tards saw some emails in the Clinton dump about ordering cheese pizza and thought it would be a…

Being an old, I think the problem, part of the problem, is we didn’t used to have this anonymous form of instant communication.

Lest we forget:

Pretty sure he was drunk. Look at the guy. That’s the face of a man that’s halfway in the bag by noon.

Wait, wait. So this person voted for Trump, and their best defense for this is that maybe, hopefully, someone else in in charge?

Anybody catch the “We love our God” in his bullshit statement? Yeah, fuck all those un-American Gods, we love our God. The fuck is this bullshit dog whistle?

Maybe he’s typing with his free hand?

So this is all your fault? Thanks a lot.

I’m so filled with emotion right now. My favorite Deadspin sports blogger is all grown up now.

Alternative winning.

Foetus? Or should I say Foetus,,? Do they not teach American in Russian Troll College?