You have to try the Lemon Berry Shandy, it's like juice for adults.

I am offended, or at least as offended as I, Sir Darkfalcon, can be about your rude comments about so-called Anti-Paladins. I hold open doors because I do not know if the feebler sex can withstand constant door opening on their own. Once, and only once, I was opening a door while some knave was also opening it from…

I'd just like to answer this from a dude's perspective.

People always ask why my wife doesn't have my last name. I didn't buy her in a fucking slave market, she can do whatever the fuck she wants.

I love the "What is this multi-billion dollar industry that is video games, why have I heard about it just now?"

No, the two week intensive AA thing totally works. Now I only drink for fun, not because I have to.

The first news story I read about this case set off my bullshit alarm, and I've been right before, and I'll be right this time.

Exotic - foreign or strange.

I hired this woman, and the first day she's there the sales manager pulls me aside.

I'd love to tell you an emotional story about my beautiful Jew of a wife, and her grandparents fleeing Nazi Germany, or maybe my grandfather seeing all his friends die around him when he fought in WWII, but you get the Bear Jew.

Anna Breslaw is a creepy holocaust supporter. She's cute, but she's a piece of shit.

What did you do that you’re not talking about? I had the gut instinct that these were villains masquerading as victims who, solely by virtue of surviving (very likely by any means necessary), felt that they had earned the right to be heroes, their basic, animal self-interest dressed up with glorified phrases like…

Back in the mythical 1980's I'm with some friends, and we are high as fuck, and completely unemployed, and somehow we get the idea to go camping. So we round up some people with gas money and the ability to pilot a vehicle north for 8 hours and we head to the redwoods.

I worked for a company whose offices were in a former mental health and drug treatment facility. Somehow this freaked out some of the staff and they would talk about the place like we were working in some 19th century abandoned asylum. The night shift would tell stories of sounds you would hear at night, crying and…

Look at that smug, stupid face. Is that the face of a man that doesn't do something incredibly shitty every year?

I worked at a resort for a few years, and every summer this guy would show up. He was a huge beast, looked like a 300 pound Sasquatch, and he would lay out by the pool in the tiniest gold speedo, drinking for hours. Everyone else thought it was hilarious, doesn't he know how silly he looks, haha.

As a certified Mermaidologist, this is the one of the top questions I get. A Mermaiden is neither wholly mammal nor wholly fish, so while they possess what appears to be the lower parts of the fish, they swim in the manner of an aquatic mammal.

BUT THESE FACTS ARE OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

Of course I accept God as my King. I don't usually refer to Eris Discordia as a King, but I'm not one to argue with Our Lady of Discord. If She wants to be a King, She can be King.

Haha, because a big woman must be a dude? I'm like Njord, I get drunk and fuck beautiful giants.