Apparently I was so already gay at nine years old when bought the Liza With a Z soundtrack with my allowance, that I still know all of the lyrics to Ring Them Bells by heart. I wore out an eight track and an LP. I just now sang along, and didn’t miss a word (I remember looking up “the Balkans” in our olive-green World…

Hey Patrick - since we celebrate Lincoln and Washington’s birthdays on this day day, it really should be ‘Presidents’.”

I’ll do it for you. Can’t wait to see how Bristol Palin’s third try at abstinence works out!

Hey guys, I just started a Guillotine company. We go public next week.

Right, the religious part.

You’re missing the point, which is to feel really really bad that you killed Jesus with your naughty ways.

This is the best and the only needed reply.

Chocolate actually exists. #TeamChocolate

A friend added to me to mom group once and wow, after a week I couldn’t take the awfulness anymore and exited. Any woman who talked about abuse was told to pray and let Jesus guide her, that the family was a pillar of God and it was her duty to be the kind of wife to her husband God intended. Any awful thing written…

I think we’re already more in to Ow My Balls territory.

I flipped the script one time and ask them the same questions they asked me (including, “where is your family really from”). He eventually said that his family was Ireland. So I told him to go back to Ireland so that he could be surrounded by a sea of shiny white faces.

LOL, I thought that as well. Although I will admit that I prefer Miracle Whip (don’t judge me.)

It’s mnemonic device, not pneumonic.

I think it’s a great painting, but a lousy portrait. Even ignoring that it looks nothing like Michelle Obama, I don’t think it even captures her energy.

For some reason, I thought he was older, just younger-looking. Dang it.

Now, if she managed to get his face onto (into?) her vagina, and not, say, just onto her vulva, that would definitely be a feat of athletic prowess worthy of a medal.

“I have known Patrick Owens for many years, and he is a good and honorable man. I believe him when he says that these two men forcibly attacked him and stole a bullet from his gun.”

Look, boys are going to be boys, amirite? Let’s not let one silly mistake ruin the life of a good person. He was troubled. Um, lone wolf?