You know, my dear departed dad was a real asshole, but he had an expression that so neatly encapsulates the solution to nearly every problem whose main characteristic is a knowledge gap — “Read a fucking book.”

Excuse me, they mean he said “America” 82 times without shooting that upper plate out of his mouth.

That’s a 10-spot to you, citizen!

OMG, any bets that her denial makes him brag about it? In public? On Twitter?

I loved that game! My nephews were so young — they could only watch me play and they were so afraid of the wraiths. I’m still sad I finished this game, it was so great.

“Left Becky”

These two on Jesse Twatters’ show? The head explodes at the thought.

Huckleberry Church Bitch.

Came here for this. Thank you, fellow lover of the appropriately placed apostrophe!

I’m sorry, that’s Medieval Celebrity Hot Tub if I ever saw it.

New fan of the podcast here!!!

This. You can bet that pussy-grabbing move is how they met. It was okay with her at least once.

Hey, Don McGahn, McGyver called. He wants his haircut back.

The hairnet really pulls the outfit together.

Dang, I need me some o’ them goat pants!

Joining NOW.

Each main actor’s performance disappointed me at some point while watching last night. In particular — I usually like Dakota Fanning, but her line delivery was so flat. She sounded more like a table-read than a character. The trans-versus-sex-worker treatment didn’t sit easily with me (I agree with another commenter…

They don’t use mother-of-pearl spoons because “Look what I stole from Mar-a-Lago!”

I know there’s a dirty dawg under there!

From the root word, “covfefe.”