From the root word, “covfefe.”

That was my nickname in high school!

I bet mine’s the best — Ctrl + Enter in the URL to add “www.” and “.com” before and after the name of the website you just typed.

Crap! For all these reasons I need a wine cooler, and I don’t mean Bartles and Jaymes (and I am appropriately ashamed that I looked up the spelling).

Herp — he looks like a yard sale Dr. Evil.

Is there any better audio? I can’t understand them with each other’s dicks in their respective mouths.

Did you ask for the “foamy” latte?

So funny. My last two cats were like that — giant Jerome was the mush, and Merle was the 8-lb “meanest kitty on the block.” He only liked me and took serious swipes at everybody else.

Want to squeeze. He looks so soft!

I watched the speeches with the sound off (somebody has to preserve my sanity!). This guy nodded and applauded all the way through.

“she fucked a hobo and then let him die”

It’s like they isolated the gene for slack-jawed douchebaggery.

OMG I was watching this on CNN, and I thought “Wow, that asshole can’t ride!” My grandfather rode and taught me to as well (I grew up in the West).

OMG Crimetown is an underappreciated gem! I’ve listened to it through more than once. Did they mention what city is next? I can’t recall.

I’M happy with your choice. You gotta keep that psyche clean.

I would watch the shee-ott out of that news.

There isn’t any.

Yeah, it does! I was thinking a layer of almond flour and melted butter might be good. I can’t keep graham crackers in the house!

I heard that this was a concern, so I bought extra rings. However, I’ve switched between savory and sweet dishes in my IP, and haven’t noticed a lingering taste whatsoever. I imagine I’d be more concerned if my savory dishes were spicier, but even black beans and chili didn’t wreck my dulce de leche flan! Which was…

It’s how my uncle did it. AFTER he begged his wife to take all the guns out of the house.